need ... inspiration ...

[veronica_rich]

This is totally not an emo post. I'm just missing my - inspiration, mojo, work ethic, whatever you want to call it. I have no desire to do much anymore, and it's driving me batty. I spent years working hard - good grades in high school and college, awards when I could, worked hard on my career (70 hours a week or more for little pay) out of college, got all kinds of awards there, too. Heck, when I lost my job five years ago, I took up temping and all kinds of part-time work just to stay afloat financially. I've lived on freelancing and legal work for the past several years. But I've hit a wall; I just can't do it anymore. I can't summon up the energy or inspiration or anything.

At this point in my career, as hard as I've worked, I ought to be somewhere, not stalled at a place 12 years in with nothing to show for it except a fancy resume I can't really use anywhere. I can't afford grad school, can't really afford to move and look somewhere else for an actual career-type job, and I simply don't know what to do to keep my spirits up and my "train on the track" these days. I've become lazy and uninspired, and that really sucks.

Comments

Re: Something to cheer you up...

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Dude, you don't have a link to an online expansion of that piece from "Jane," do you? Because I could die a happy woman. XD

I know I'm not alone in my burnout; I've heard this happening to other women. Problem is, that doesn't make motivation for me. I've never based myself on what I was doing in comparison to other people but, rather, what I was doing compared to what I had already done. And I think the best stuff must be behind me! (No kidding, a lot of days. ARRGHHHHH.)