need ... inspiration ...

[veronica_rich]

This is totally not an emo post. I'm just missing my - inspiration, mojo, work ethic, whatever you want to call it. I have no desire to do much anymore, and it's driving me batty. I spent years working hard - good grades in high school and college, awards when I could, worked hard on my career (70 hours a week or more for little pay) out of college, got all kinds of awards there, too. Heck, when I lost my job five years ago, I took up temping and all kinds of part-time work just to stay afloat financially. I've lived on freelancing and legal work for the past several years. But I've hit a wall; I just can't do it anymore. I can't summon up the energy or inspiration or anything.

At this point in my career, as hard as I've worked, I ought to be somewhere, not stalled at a place 12 years in with nothing to show for it except a fancy resume I can't really use anywhere. I can't afford grad school, can't really afford to move and look somewhere else for an actual career-type job, and I simply don't know what to do to keep my spirits up and my "train on the track" these days. I've become lazy and uninspired, and that really sucks.

Comments

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

If debt is your worst problem, have you tried some kind of consolidation? (I'm afraid I have zero experience with those kind of loans/'financial arrangements' but I'm pretty sure you can have monthly payments lowered - if you're willing to pay for a longer time).

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I very much agree with heartofslash on setting small goals. I also make lists of Things To Do (because it does feel good when you can cross something off it).

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I also recommend Green Tea. (My favorite "pick me up" is actually Starbuck's Mocha, but that stuff is so damn expensive I finally had to give it up. I can drink the Tea without sugar - so it's a healthier fix too, for me.)