Writer's Block: Girls and Boys

[veronica_rich]

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Yeah, abstinence only ... LOL ... because if we don't tell them, they won't find out. Any adult who believes in that after Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston - not to mention their own childhood - is just being willfully naive and argumentative for the sake of hearing their own voice.

Comments

[finding-neo.livejournal.com]

Someone who will tell the boys, "Be responsible when you stick it!" Not where, just when, meaning use a freakin' condom.

I just cannot believe we still let men get away with impregnating girls with little to no responsibility. If she gets an STD, she pays for it. If she gets pregnant, she pays for it. I don't care if you go after paternity, a 14 year old doesn't have money. And yes, 14 year olds are getting girls pregnant. The sister of a girl who works for me got pregnant at 14 by a 14 year old.

Not to mention that WE pay for it too because our taxes pay for the Medicaid, the WIC cards, etc. Most young women who get pregnant don't get married. They become a burden on the welfare system because there is no incentive to get married. I don't blame them at all, they're just taking advantage of the system. But if someone wants to limit benefits to those who are married, that is discriminatory or violates civil rights. What if the guy's a dick, they say? Dick didn't use a condom, he needs to pay up.

I guess I'm a social conservative on this, but mainly it's because men get away with so much - of course, look who runs the government.....

John Edwards is like the poster boy for this. I am surprised there's not a secret male cult set up to worship him. Oh. If we knew, it wouldn't be secret, would it?

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

"Liberal" simply means you're willing to listen to new ideas and consider whether an established system is really working the best in a situation. Also, they're a little live and let live - which I am to an extent. Obviously I am not looking to control what teenagers I'm not responsible for are doing to themselves and each other - that'd be more of a job than I can handle. What I DO wish is they'd exercise more care for their own bodies and health, sexually, out of concern for their own future and well-being (and not to add to the population of unwanted children).

If you want your head to shoot off into the stratosphere, read some of the comments on this thread at FS (http://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/626010.html?thread=555234138#cmt555234138).

[starrdust411.livejournal.com]

I think telling the truth about the consequences of sex is important both for in school and at home sex education. My aunt recently gave a sex lecture to her teenage granddaughter and told her that all STDs were fatal. Obviously I didn't say anything, because who am I to talk about sex or parenting, but I personally felt that it was wrong to use lies/scare tactics to get the girl to stay away from sex. (Although my aunt's heart was in the right place, since her daughter had gotten pregnant at 16 and the granddaughter was the result of this encounter).

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I'm not in favor of scaring a kid to death, but I think it depends on the kid's personality, maturity level, ability to handle information, and penchant for rebelliousness - i.e., there will always be kids that you can tell the truth and explain carefully that you don't want them going out and doing this, but if they DO choose to for some dumb reason, you want them to know the facts and how to prevent unwanted things ... and all they're going to hear is "no" whereupon their response is going to be "YOU SAID NO! IMMA GO DO IT NOW!!!"

[hippediva.livejournal.com]

*G* Something like what my Mom did---told me the facts and added "don't expect your father and I to fly you to Aruba if you get yourself knocked up' (Obviously, this was pre-1973). Then my cousin did exactly that and got married at 17. Seeing her put aside all her dreams for the future was a very practical lesson in "no glove, no love".

Abstinence is disingenuous BS idiot adults pat themselves on the back for. Information is key. *G*

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I think there's such a thing as TOO liberal when it comes to certain things, especially kids having sex. As I told Neo above, check out these comments (http://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/626010.html?thread=555234138#cmt555234138) when you get a few minutes. Yes, it might be teenagers making the "BAD SLUT-SHAMER!" comments there, but I've gotta tell you, when I was 14, I would have said pretty much the same thing I say now. Which is, "Are you on crack?"

[hippediva.livejournal.com]

Yeah...I would have too (mostly on principal that adults telling you something's 'bad' at 14 tends to prompt the curiosity response and the irresistible adolescent need to be contrary at all times. *G* Goes along with never smiling for family photographs and reacting violently if someone opens the bathroom door by mistake on ya.) *snickers* Yeah, I remember 14---it's not a fun age! ROFLMAO!

[bayliss.livejournal.com]

I think kids should have to go through a class with homework detailing the biological changes that the human body goes through and detailing the STDs, the proper use of a condom, and the different types of birth control available for use. Instead of the 10 minute movie and the 5 minutes with the school health nurse I got in my town.

If kids can understand the changes and understand the options I think kids will be able to make good choices. I had a friend tell me that her mom told her until she could say penis and vagina without giggling she wasn't mature enough to have sex. She didn't have sex until she went to college. :-)

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Let me tell you what, the movie of giving birth that I saw when I was about 13 was THE single most effective thing that kept me from even wanting to try sex before age 19. There's been a lot of other influence to keep me from wanting children most of my life, including my entire adult life, but that did the trick for that time.

[keechakatt.livejournal.com]

My mother used the tactic that she felt was most effective. "If you come home pregnant, you can pack and go. If you're old enough to do that, you're old enough to get a job. I raised kids and I'm not raising anyone else's."

The funny thing was I had never been active. It did make me think about three meals a day and room and board for free. I wasn't about to mess that up over one night of fun and an 18 year obligation at the minimum. My friends didn't believe my mom would kick me out. I knew better. My bags would have been on the porch in a second and no grandchild would have made a difference.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I think it's important that kids have consequences for their actions, and this tactic worked for me, as well. But it won't work on all teens, and I think it's important that parents try to find what will. Because I don't think forcing a girl whose body isn't finished developing with hosting another body drawing from its nutrition, if it's against her will especially, is the best answer.