maybe some peace ...

[veronica_rich]

Sylvester's behavior seems to have improved dramatically in the last week and a half. I love my pets, and I wouldn't have it done myself - but I sort of, kinda, maybe halfway understand those people who have their older cats euthanized because they won't stop peeing on everything in sight after a while. It sounds stupid and something easily cleaned up, but the problem is, while I don't have much of a life, I DO have enough of an existence that there are things I need to be doing besides following around a 14-year-old cat to make sure he doesn't piss - on the carpet, on the hardwood, on the wall, on a door, on my bed, on my clothes, on a rug, on the shower curtain, on the furniture. (Yes - he's wet in all these places. MULTIPLE times. It sounds humorous, unless you're living in the middle of it and your home smells like urine despite immediate cleanups.)

He was not this truculent before I adopted Frank a few years ago, and I realize having two adult unrelated male cats in one house is like striking a match - but I had Frank neutered, I fed them in separate rooms (still do), I gave Sylvester special treats, maintained two litterboxes, I tried other behavior modifications, I tried Feliway and other cat-calming spray. Nothing, in over three years, seems to have calmed his absolute fucking rage - hence me using this icon, as it reminds me much of his demeanor toward me - and in reference to up above, it's not so much the cleaning up that was breaking me down, it was this anger he was almost constantly exhibiting to the point of my hair being torn out. (I tried at a few separate times, giving Sylvester tranquilizer his old vet had prescribed - well, it wasn't a pill, it was powder you sprinkle in the wet food. He KNOWS when there's something in his food that shouldn't be there, and trying to get him to eat it was like rolling a boulder up a mountain.)

In addition, he wasn't satisfied with just peeing on my things. He would either do it in front of me, wait in the spot until I showed up, and then do it before I could stop/get to him, or do it in a place he knew I'd easily find it - and when I went around the corner to look for him, there he'd be waiting, ears flattened back, and he'd take off running like he'd just set fire to a Halloween bag of shit on the doorstep. Well, he did it for the last time on an early Saturday morning a couple of weekends ago. I cleaned up the mess, stomped into the bathroom to take a shower, bundled the damn cat into his carrier, and was sitting at the clinic shortly after it opened at 9.

The vet gave me some pills for him (don't ask me the name; it's an antidepressant, but not Prozac - she said we'd try these first), which I had to cut in half and feed him twice a day. What I didn't like about them for the first few days was they did the same thing to him the tranquilizer powder had, namely, render him loopy and zombie-like (I want him to have a personality, just not ALL THAT FUCKING RAGE). They also tested his blood again (cha-ching$) and found overzealous thyroid levels this time, so I had to have more blood sent off to a specialty lab to have it checked more closely there (cha-ching$$) - then they wanted to do some further test, I guess to pinpoint the exact gene upon which sits this hyperthyroid problem (cha-ching$$$$$). I nixed the last test - I am not paying for more tests for my cat's thyroid than my doctor orders for mine. I bought some medication to inhibit his thyroid function so he'll hopefully gain back that 2-3 pounds he's lost in the last few months. I also asked if I could scale back his antidepressants to once a day.

So far, the mixture of the two meds once a night seems to be working some minor wonders. He doesn't run around angrily anymore; I haven't caught him pissing anywhere yet. (I did add another litterbox, making room by moving something else elsewhere to do it, and have started scooping once a day rather than every couple of days.) He doesn't twitch his tail as much and seems less intent on clawing everyone (though he does still fight with Frank, who hasn't figured out to stop provoking him at this point). My sister commented a couple of nights ago, "He acts like he used to when he was younger" - i.e., in Sisterspeak, "like less of an asshole."

I dislike hoping too much after only a week and a half, but it'd be nice to not have to sit with him of a morning, again, and be able to possibly use that time once again for walking exercise instead, without worrying if he's back home pissing on something.

BONUS RANT: I love my two pets. I don't always like them some days because they're like the worst parts of teenagers, but I love them. I make sure they have regular vet care, a warm place to sleep, places to play, toys, a steady supply of expensive, high-meat food, and water. I know that having pets is a responsibility and costs some money. HOWEVER ... I am getting well and truly sick and tired of vets' attitudes anymore that $40 for a blood test, for example, "isn't that much" and this sort of pulsing, underlying, mostly-unvoiced vibe of "if you REALLY loved your pet and were a responsible adult, you'd pay whatever it takes to get them well." Um, no. No, I would not. Sorry - not because a pet isn't worth that kind of care, but because I personally do not earn "whatever it takes." I spent several years taking Sylvester to the vet for annual checkups, occasional illnesses, and, in one memorable two-month time period, exams every other day and all kinds of tests to figure out why he was throwing up and wouldn't eat or drink. (It turned out he was a little anemic. REALLY??) This was during the years I had no health insurance of my own and never went to the doctor because it was too expensive ... but the cat, I made sure he had medical care.

And, I might not be so very annoyed if an average annual checkup vet visit alone - complete with shots - didn't run $200-$300 these days. And there is NO waiving of that fucking "office exam" fee anywhere if you go in with an emergency and are paying for other expensive services at the same time. (You may say "well, that's life," but the vet I had to take Sylvester to over that two-month period, like every 2-3 days, would waive his fee sometimes or do a procedure for half-price here and there because he knew it was putting me in debt and the cat really needed help. So, no, it's an individual vet's choice, not inevitable "life.")

Comments

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Yes, I agree with you. I think this culture is so animal crazy (and is from someone who spent tens of thousands of dollars trying to keep my diabetic dog alive) that vets really can't just wrap their minds around that, hey, can't afford it. After the diabetic dog episode, we have vowed never to get into that circle of writing endless checks again. It wasn't that she wasn't worth it, but you know, when you're scraping it together to get college tuitioin together, you can't help but realize that maybe it was the dog's time to go and I just couldn't face the music. Unfortunately, she wasn't in pain or unhappy until the very end, at which point we put her to sleep. But not without the ca-ching for years. At some point, we have to let go.

And the male cat thing. They are really too territorial to share. Thank goodness we had our male neutered practically the day he was born. Because he tries to spray constantly, but can't. He's incredibly territorial, even neutered.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

You know, I get that animals can't pay for their own care or fix themselves. I do have a certain level of responsibility for having them as pets, and because I like to see them content and safe. On the other hand, Sylvester was born to a feral cat and Frank was an adult when I took him in from the woods where he was wandering, hungry (and, I'm fairly certain, dumped off by his previous human). If I weren't taking care of them at all, they would still have been born, and might even be dead before now of various dangers.

[lizzie-omalley.livejournal.com]

I have my fingers crossed for you.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

It's like a practice - always a work in progress to see what's going to fly and what falls flat with these guys. Thanks!

[black-hound.livejournal.com]

This sounds way too familiar.

This summer we put down our 15 year old greyhound, and for the last 2 years of her life, pooping and peeing on the one wall to wall carpet in the house was a regular occurrence. And yeah, it made me angry that I was constantly cleaning up, and worrying about how bad things smelled, and no it doesn't mean you don't love your pet. As much as it hurt when it was finally time to put her down {from bone cancer}, there was also a sigh of relief that I didn't have to come home from work and fire up the rug shampooer, and that I could finally do something to remediate the ruin that was my family room, as in ripping out all the carpet, bleaching the concrete slab, and painting the floor with Killz BEFORE ordering new carpeting. And hooray, the smell was finally gone.

We were blessed with a great vet that was reasonable, sensible, and understanding. And yes it IS an invidual choice by a vet how much they charge.

I hope the meds continue to work for Sylvester.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about your dog. Sometimes it feels like you either have to happily pay for everything to try to fix what's wrong, when it requires paying (and not everything does, but yes, there comes a point where what works doesn't come free), or feel like a horrible person for not being able to do it.

I filed for bankruptcy and it was discharged last year. I'm out of debt for the moment, but my income hasn't gone up very much and I don't have any assets to sell off - this means whatever happens, I have to pay out of pocket for everything. If it comes down to a trip somewhere I want to take, and medical care for Sylvester, well - it's the medical care out of the savings, most likely. I don't take trips now or make any big purchases (not that I made that many before - I didn't get into debt by jetting to the Caribbean or putting a Mercedes in my driveway) because I worry about depleting my resources (I had to move earlier this year and that damn near knocked out what I'd managed to save in the past year - and I dropped $200 on tests and medication for Sylvester over the last week, which further depleted). Point is, I couldn't file for bankruptcy again for another 6 years - and I don't want to even then. So ... there are some mental financial issues at work here too. Every time I try something new for Sylvester, I sort of hold my breath and hope it works. Like this time!

Anyway. I understand.

[finding-neo.livejournal.com]

At risk of being a smart ass friend, I am scratching my head over some of this. I don't understand how someone who is as internet savvy as yourself would not realize that the internet is a marvelous source of information regarding pet health issues. There are mailing lists and message boards for just about every pet ailment there is, including chronic diseases and behavioral problems. As well as informational sites.

And the other reason I'm scratching my head is that apparently you aren't fully aware I know of and make use of many of those resources. Or don't remember. Yes perhaps our view of caring for our pets is different, but nonetheless my experience with vets and the various tests required for different ailments is extensive when compared with most lay-people. In detail I have been an active member of a Feline Diabetes message board for over 6 years and we deal with many of these issues, not simply FD. We advise members on medications and treatments. Yes, I'll brag about it, I have an 18 year old diabetic cat who will be happy till his last day because of what I've learned. And yes, I'm one of those people who will go in debt for my pets. I have and I am. But I can tell you when a vet is asking for something unreasonable or unnecessary. I've had to pay for enough stuff I later learned is such myself. Experience is the best teacher.

BTW, Tigget has been Hyper-T for 2 years now. I give her the same daily pill you are probably giving Sylvester, it goes by a couple different names, methimazole or Tapazole or felimazole. The dose is very important and is not always right from the get-go. I sure as heck hope the vet explained you have to take him in for regular blood tests to make sure the dose is OK and because it can affect their white cell blood count negatively if too much is given. Also, you are entitled to copies of his medical records and test reports. Please obtain those if you would like help understanding what's going on. I can tell you what something being high or low actually means. In layman's terms, unlike vet speak which can go above people's heads, just like human doctors do.

I'm not trying to be a smart ass, I want to help. If I had known Sylvester appeared to be losing weight, and that he was "angry" rather than simply inappropriately peeing, I would have suggested getting him tested for hyper-T and I know which tests to get for that, nothing more nothing less. I wrongly assumed he was simply having behavioral issues because of the move and the dog. Did the vet tell you that hyper-T also causes excessive urination and that some cats will pee inappropriately, not out of spite, but because they have to go NOW?

Otherwise, you can research this stuff for yourself. One of the best online sites for basic and thorough information is http://www.marvistavet.com/html/the_pet_web_library.html

Knowledge is power and it also can help your pocketbook. It curdles my milk a bit when someone complains about how much something costs or thinks they're being gouged when they could have saved themselves the expense with a little finger-work. Unfortunately you are a bit right about vet costs, but some of that is because owners aren't proactive enough. Unless you do some of your own research to understand a disease and treatment options, you are going to pay a lot, I'm sorry to say.

The meds will work, it's not hoping too much. I'm glad he's improving. Hope this didn't come across too bitchy. I'm just a little flabbergasted that you've gone through all this and didn't ask for help. Maybe you just didn't know or maybe my zeal when it comes to cat health is a turn-off, I don't know. You can take or leave what I tell you is important regardless, so it makes no difference to me.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

If anything else comes up and I need help, I will remember to ask you. Thanks for your comments and your help. :-)

[gobsmacked.livejournal.com]

You don't need to feel guilty. My grandmother, the kindest woman alive, had to make the decision to put down all 3 of her cats. She spent whatever was needed but two of them got feline leukemia and could not be saved and the third peed everywhere and was refusing to eat. He was tested for diabetes just like her other cats - and she kept one cat with diabetes alive for years, until he got feline leukemia. (I'm mentioning all this so you'll know that she was like you).

I am a little angry that people assume when someone puts down a pet, or has to call it quits on taking care of one that they are unfeeling or uncaring. I know that this is not you.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about her cats. It's a decision I haven't had to make so far, but with two cats I've had for a long time, I'm sure the day is coming. I can only hope I have the sense to make the right decisions.

[sirriamnis.livejournal.com]

I'm going through that crap right now. My husband's 15 year old princess of a cat has kidney disease. We had to wait to go to the vet until we had money, because we'd moved and we were doing a bit of wishful thinking that maybe her weight loss was either nerves or having more space to run around in, as all of the cats lost a little weight with the move.

The first visit ran over $300, then $66 in antibiotics, then $25 for a SubQ set up, then $200 for the next visit... She said what she really recommended was hospitalizing her for a week, at about $1000. I asked her, "So what are the odds that spending that $1000 to make my cat miserable is going to present me with a healthy cat at the end of it. Because if you can give me better odds that 50/50 I'll FIND the money. I'll beg, borrow or steal it. I'll live out of my car if I have to."

She couldn't, in fact the odds weren't even 50/50. "But it's still my recommendation."

Yeah, you recommend I spend a grand I don't have, to isolate a fifteen year old cat from the Daddy she loves more than tuna or the red dot on a 20% chance it MIGHT work. OR we keep doing subQ fluids at home, feeding her all the tuna we can stuff in her grubby little mouth, and loving her until she's not happy, which I will still be spending assloads of money on, but it will be assloads of money spread out over time, with a cat who is actually much easier to do subQ fluids on than she is to medicate. (Yeah, tell me again how I'm doing it wrong because I can't get pills in her, then the vet tech came in and couldn't get them in her either. Fuck woman, I have told you how many cats I have owned and have rescued, including long-term kidney disease care and bottle-raising litters. I'm not an idiot. I know how to pill a cat. And I also know when I can't pill a cat because the cat is unpill-able.)

I've played the kidney disease game before. And the first time what it gave me was an $800 dead cat, after a week of hospitalization, and my special boy cat not even wanting to look at me by the end because of the hell we'd put him true selfishly trying eke out just a little more time.

Not only can I not afford that economically, I can't afford it emotionally, and neither can my husband. It'd be nice if I could just throw money at the problem like and hope, and not sink financially whether it worked or not. But the really real world doesn't work like that, and sometimes you have to make some shitty fucking choices about quality of life and how whether it's worth losing your house to take a chance on a treatment that has never given you back a healthy cat in the end.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I moved earlier this year, too - it was a long, drawn-out process and I thought, well, maybe he was under some "new place" stress this summer. Also, it's tricky to tell with him - I thought he'd lost weight between last year's checkup and this one in May, but the scale said he hadn't (I thought the same thing between two years ago and last year, too, with the same result) - so I halfway thought that this summer, maybe I was imagining it again.

You post a lot about your cats, and I've been reading what all you guys do for them. It's good that you can do that much for them, and I don't think you should feel bad about anything you do, because it's obvious you care a great deal for them, at least from what I read.

[sirriamnis.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we do as much as we can without making them miserable or not being able to pay rent.

The vet I take them to now is kind of the cadillac of cat care in the Seattle area, and while I appreciate their expertise, they tend to assume that I can afford more I can. I think they also assume that I can't possibly be capable of the parts of cat care that I tell them I have done, like SubQ fluids and such.

[janamelie.livejournal.com]

Our ten-year-old cat is currently in good health, but I'm dreading the day that's no longer the case. I hope the meds continue to help your cat.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Sylvester has been pretty fortunate that his problems until now haven't been chronic, and I've been able to get him quickly treated for each one. If having a fast thyroid is the worst thing that happens to him from here on out, I'll be glad about that.