how do you write it when Dr. Death dies?

[veronica_rich]

There aren't many people of the entire human population who can make a lasting impact, to the point where their name becomes a verb and/or noun in the language itself. But unless you live under a rock in this country (and in some others, even) or you're very young, you've probably heard of Dr. Kevorkian, who died today. (Natural causes, not assisted suicide - I know, that was my first question too, right?)

Kevorkian didn't sell his machine at Walmart; he didn't peddle it door to door, encouraging people to give up the ghost and go to their Maker (or into the ether, or the ground, or wherever each one thought they'd end up). He didn't advocate death in a Logan's Run-esque manner for people who hit a certain age or stage of illness. He simply helped those who were too sick to recover, to pull the trigger themselves, so to speak - and it had to be THEIR DECISION.

In this country, at least, it's not unusual to pay a vet to euthanize your pet; hell, it's expected that if an animal gets to a certain stage of illness or advanced age and illness, that a compassionate person will put them out of their misery rather than let them continue to suffer. Yet, not only do we criminalize those who would actively help end the life of a loved person who has made their wishes known to this effect (I'm not talking about removing a feeding tube), we make it barbaric for sick people who want to end their own lives. If you want to die, you have to acquire the drugs and go through whatever discomfort and fear might be involved in overdosing, or stab or shoot yourself - and risk missing. Kevorkian offered something less painful and controlled by the dying person themselves. (My philosophy, I suppose, is if you have a terminal illness, you've probably already suffered enough pain that death itself shouldn't just add to the pile.)

Like anything else in life, suicide is a gray area - and it should be. There shouldn't be any "all or nothing" laws about it. There are circumstances other than treatable depression in which a person wants to end their life, and cases when a person's physical health has plummeted and is NOT going to improve because we don't know yet how to cure an illness. My mother never told me she wanted to end her own life, but if she'd gotten to the point where she was definitely not getting any better, only worse, and she'd still been in her right mind and asked - should I have said no? I could certainly have argued, and I certainly would have been distraught ... but would I have had the right to prevent her from contacting Kevorkian herself?

Comments

[compassrose7577.livejournal.com]

Kevorkian was one of our county coroners before he was famous. (And an odd little man he was.) His first intention was to find a way to be able to harvest the organs from the bodies of those killed by capital punishment. Up until then, gas or eltrocution rendered the body unuseable. He contacted my chiropractor (who was on the list for a heart transplant) to help him in his cause.

Little by little, the issue got shifted, because the humane way for a prisoner to die was also of interest to the terminally ill.

I think the biggest problem we have as a nation is that we can't accept the fact that none of us are getting out of here alive. As you've indicated, we're often more willing to show a suffering dog more compassion than we are a loved one.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Death is hard to accept. I'll admit, the prospect terrifies me. It's not so much the end of existence as having to wonder when it'll happen and how much pain will be involved. Because that's your last conscious feeling if you die in agony, and there aren't many of us who get to die in our sleep. It seems like a colossal fucking joke, if you ask me (and, it's one reason I'm agnostic - I have a really hard time accepting there's a god who wants us all to fall down in worship, yet would let us go through that much pain and fear, and would sponsor any religion that encourages fear and hatred of so many other things during a lifetime. But I'm going from preaching to meddling).

But yeah - death in our culture isn't always handled terribly well. Then again, nobody wants to say goodbye to someone they love or like, never to see them again. But keeping them around is selfish, and I don't know that it's the best thing for the person.

[compassrose7577.livejournal.com]

I've always been inclined toward the Irish attude toward death/funerals: you celebrate that the deceased is out of this misery.

[soleilpirate.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I HAVE to respond to this. I can't not do it. The Supreme Creator gave us choice, which is one of the most complex and frankly ballsy things He did. Also, there was that whole business with the Fall and Original Sin, which caused humanity to be quite effed up and horrible, co-existing along with good. So about half the things we do on this planet are good and about half throw Him into a really bad light. I've seen death occur, mostly in the very elderly to whom it is generally a relief even when they are scared of it, and once with a sixteen year old boy who was gunned down as I drove by and who I stopped to help. From all I can tell, it is a doorway, to where I don't know, but clearly a doorway. Talk with me privately about this if you like, we can have a lovely debate! Truly a debate, because I'm an odd Christian; I have no problems letting other people have their own views. *g*

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Well, we could debate, except I'm not sure I disagree with the core of what you say (except I'm not religious, so there's that debate, I suppose - but frankly it's not one that can be won or lost, since we cannot know which of us is right until it's too late to argue about it anymore).

[soleilpirate.livejournal.com]

I'm not religious either. And perhaps Heaven allows debates? It is a perfect place, after all.

[smtfhw.livejournal.com]

I'm very interested in the whole "assisted dying" issue after the whole trauma of watching my Dad die. I would never have allowed an animal to continue in that degree of physical distress with no hope of a cure/recovery, yet I had no choice but to allow a human being to do just that. There were moments when - if I had been left alone with him - I would have ended it for him. I wasn't ever left alone...

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Mom wasn't horribly sick long enough for me to get to that point, I admit. Until the last few weeks, she was normal-sick that you would expect from a cancer patient - and in the last few weeks, she stayed mostly positive. But if it had gone on much longer, I think I might've gotten there.

[slayitalldown.livejournal.com]

I work in a hospital, and its something we battle here in AUS as well.

We too have cultural and religious considerations - with a vast majority of our patients being indigenous Australians and generally in poor health precipitated by alchohol abuse, diabetes from poor diet and generally self-neglect, these people are know to suffer to their end and to the dismay of not just their families, but those who provide them clinical care.

It is heart-wrenching to watch.

It is such a taboo subject because to this very day WE ARE TERRORFIED OF DEATH. The end in itself is a primal fear we cannot soothe, but people who know, and have accepted, and wish to find peace for themselves and their families are being denied a basic human right. I strongly believe that yes, you SHOULD be allowed to make this choice and it should be fully supported - within strict, stringently guarded guidelines that offer support for EVERYONE involved. Remember, doctors don't treat patients so they'll die. They treat them so they'll live. Being asked to give permission to end a life would be a terrible emotional burden on the person who gets to say "Yes, you may".

In Australia, Palliative Care is provided to terminal patients and every effort is made to ensure that their death is catered to in such a way the family, friends and staff are supported, but I have seen cases in which patients have so little 'quality of life' in the final stages their death is almost cheered on because the suffering of EVERYONE is allieviated... but the memory haunts them all. No one should be 'glad' someone is dead but the misery of suffering is unkind.

Society needs to grow up and stop whining. Its easy to whine, the world wide web is basically a whining network where anyone who can type can complain - no balls or foresight needed, case in point: Wonder Woman. The TV show that was cancelled recently because of backlash? Public, internet backlash. When before has a TV that has the potential for profits and entertainment been canned due to a butt-load of whiny comments "We don't like her outfit."

Absurd. But society has the power to be a bunch of collective whingers and this topic is not something that should be up for a majority vote, it is a choice every individual should have the right to make for themselves. We didn't choose to be born, to get sick, or to suffer, and maybe we don't need to choose the time we die but if its that LAST CHOICE YOU CAN POSSIBLE MAKE IN THIS LIFE, then it is cruel, unkind, and inhumane to deny it.

We suffer enough, don't we?

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Being asked to give permission to end a life would be a terrible emotional burden on the person who gets to say "Yes, you may".

This is why it HAS to be decided by the courts or legislatures, to allow this. The doctor can lodge a protest for the record, even if he/she is the one to provide the drugs for self-administration. (I don't know that assisted suicide should become a business like Kevorkian did it, per se, even if he didn't get rich off of it or do it for the profit motive.) And yes, it should be something that's hard to decide, for everyone involved - but it shouldn't be black and white "let's allow anyone to do this" or "this should NEVER be allowed." That's the problem with so much in our country right now, on so many issues, I can't even.

(The whole concept of Wonder Woman onscreen has had a curse hanging over it since the 70s show ended. Movies have been canceled, TV shows ... I wasn't even aware this latest TV show had been canceled. Is that right?? I thought the first costume they showed her in was bullshit - not because it was anti-feminist, but simply because it was cheap and crappy - but the second one was all right.

[soleilpirate.livejournal.com]

I didn't know he had died, I had to hear it on LJ! Wow. Probably because I avoid news, as it's too depressing for me to deal with. But I always sympathized with Kevorkian's views and felt that he was in the right. It's too bad more people don't think so. I suspect most of those who disagreed with him had never watched someone they care about die a horribly painful death. While I don't think suicide is okay ever because of my religious beliefs primarily ("OK" having the meaning here of "I don't feel strongly about it other than sadness for the person suffering that much to do that, and their family left behind")there are obviously circumstances where someone dying needs to have their pain alleviated and their suffering ended now.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

My sister read me the news last night and I was like "don't you ever look at my journal??" So you're not the last to know.

Not being a religious person, I don't have that to consider when I debate this. I do think suicide in anything other than a terminal illness situation should be prevented, but not because some all-knowing Seeing Eye is going to come down on the person for it. My argument is, death is irreversible, and while you won't regret being successful at it once the deed is done, you could screw it up and have MORE problems than the ones that drove you to suicide, or you could have that brief flash of regret just before death takes you, after you've already done whatever - and it's too late to reverse or fix it. But if you're terminally ill, there is no hope of recovery, and you're miserable, if you feel like you're losing nothing by ending your life, should I talk you out of it?

[virginia-fell.livejournal.com]

This is a great entry, and I would have told you yesterday except that I didn't have internet.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I write very much gooder than I talk. ;-)

Seriously, my sister and I were paralyzed for a good 5 minutes trying to decide whether the doctor should give Mom CPR with the chest-pounding when we were asked (before it actually got to that point), should it be needed - because it would likely crack her ribs, and she was already in such bad shape we weren't sure she'd survive THAT even if she survived the cardiac arrest (which she didn't, of course). So it can't be easy for a person to decide to end their OWN life, and if they're terminally ill, they should likely have that option.