What the hell is wrong with people?

[veronica_rich]

I am so sick of online rudeness. There's not really any particular trigger, just in general.

No, I don't mean the teasing jabs people take at one another when they know each other. And I don't mean simply disagreeing with one another; rudeness is not refusing to agree, but refusing to disagree cordially.

And I don't mean witty things, really. I like wit; I occasionally use wit. Wit greases a smartass remark and elevates it from the verbal equivalent of flipping someone off, to waving at them with your middle finger just slightly raised above the rest. A good, witty comeback has been known to make me laugh when the same response, phrased rudely or poorly, would piss me off.

No, what I mean is RUDENESS. People who disagree with you and then feel the need to add something like "get over it" or "shut the fuck up." What, it's not enough they're not agreeing with you? To me, if someone's disagreeing, that already signals to me ... well, disagreement. Why add displeasure to an otherwise benign posting or correspondence?

"I like the color red."

"Well, I don't like red. I think midnight blue looks better in most cases - which is why I like amphibians over mammals. The bleeding is so much prettier."

To me, that is wit. THIS is rudeness:

"I hate red. I think it's ugly. Why don't you quit showing your ignorance and crawl back under your rock, and let other people figure out the right colors, k?"

And it's not just to me. I get pissed off when I see someone else being treated this way - granted, I have to see the "conversation" from start to finish and watch it develop (because otherwise, how do you know these two people don't know each other offline, or that the person being insulted did something to rightfully deserve the rudeness, elsewhere?). But still, it's easy to get pissed off on someone else's behalf.

This rant brought to you by various online posting forums, mailing lists, countless misinterpreted IM conversations, and caffeine.

Comments

[joey112.livejournal.com]

May I have the caffeine please.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Not unless you really LIKE chocolate. It's a dark, dark chocolate homemade batter. The frosting is chocolate fudge and it's drizzled with liquid dark chocolate. There's also fudge on the side to drizzle on it.

*twitches*

[joey112.livejournal.com]

I really like chocolate. But maybe not that intense a chocolate. But damn could I use a coffee right now. 9 to 5's arent all they're cracked up to be ya know? or is that closer to 7 to 5. ugh.

I'm not sure what it is that brings out that rudeness. It's not just LJ, though there certainly is a lot of it here.

[nobleplatypus]

You know what my absolute favorite comment is?

"Well, why did you read [insert text here] if you hate it so much? No one forced you to."

Especially when what prompted it was not even a giant rabid rant, but a rather level-headed critique. I should have replied, "Gee, why did you read my post if criticism of someone else's work upsets you so much? No one forced you to. Oh, but wait... generally, you don't know something is going to annoy you until after you read it. Funny how that works out."

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

It really makes you wonder if the people writing these actually believe the tripe they're writing, or if they're just doing it to see if they can piss you off. Some people exist solely to annoy others, as though that were their primary purpose in life, and take great pleasure in it.

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

I'm right there with you! The witty-ness I'm more than alright with or I wouldn't get along with any of my co-workers, but rudeness is not tolerated. Maybe it is our profession? Do you think?

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

What, that we don't tolerate rudeness? Maybe it's that we have to deal with it ALL THE FUCKING TIME because of what we do. Of course, I have the same problem with stupidity as I do with rudeness, namely that (a) it can be helped in most cases and (b) the older I get, the less I put up with it.

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we do deal with rudeness and stupidity all of the damn time. I have only worked for this paper a little more than a year, but I can tell you, people in West Virginia live up to the standards the rest of the country has for them, believe me.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

It must be because of the intrusive questions we ask. Like we're not asking what every reader WANTS to ask and LOVES to read once it is asked and published.

It's just for a paycheck. I'm nosy, but I'm really not *that* intrusive in my personal dealings with people.

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

Neither am I, not unless I have a really good reason to be intrisive on a personal level. I perfer to get to know people as we go, not by asking a ton of questions, like at work.
I love what I do for a living, I just wish I were paid more. LOL

[philosophercat.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking about this today too, and how stupid I feel for remembering this one rude person over at the English majors comm (DO NOT GO THERE- ...*shudder* I think it is where these sorts of people breed). I made the mistake of sticking up for a friend of mine who was only saying that she's taking English and being at the university to learn for the sake of learning. This guy responded angrily saying that not everyone has money for that, and how she needs to get off of her high horse. I chimed in with how often I've heard this debate over why one should go to uni, and how it makes me laugh to see how much people fight over it. And so, he lit into me for several replies. Eventually he just resorted to saying I was either a moron or I was self-delusional because I believe there is such a thing as learning for its own sake.

Funny thing is, it really bothered me (maybe because I'm at a moment in my life when my skin isn't thick after being worn down a bit too much of late). And even though the speech the keynote speaker at the honour society ceremony I attended was ON learning for its own sake, I still feel hurt by what he said. And I know he was just some one who probably is getting off on being in grad school, and thinks he has cornered the market on ways of seeing the world. *shrug*

But... my favourite unbalanced ranter would have to be from the 19th century lit comm. Jane Eyre is supposed to be a 'plain' woman- in fact so unattractive that everyone generally believes she will never be married. I was telling someone, who asked for film recs, about my favourite and gave her a link to some pictures. The actress playing Jane looks a lot like Charlotte Bronte, who said Jane would be as plain as she was. So I figured it was pretty close. Someone else replied to me with shocked exclaimations about how ugly the actress was and how she doesn't want to see the film because of it. I tried to note that a) We are probably supposed to see Jane this way as it is very important to the plot that she be unattractive, and b) if you only see films that fit your mental image of a character you won't ever go to the movies. She kept on replying with bombastic tirades about how I can't change how she sees the character, and "[she doesn't] care what [I] say or Charlotte Bronte says!" And... let's see. Oh! Yes, she has a private definition of 'plain'(also a favourite of mine- the fellow from english_majors also had a private definition of 'learning' and decided to insult me because I either didn't share his definition, or that I was talking nonsense (his 'learning' being any accumilation of data. So, reading a cargo list is learning in his opinion).

Sorry this is so long and ranty, but it's been bothering me. *sigh*

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

One of the things I learned a long time ago is that for whatever reason, English majors are the prickliest, most argumentative people in the universe (well, at least of those beings who speak English). Personally, I think it's because they are in a uniquely bad position - there are really few other courses of study where, when you tell people what your major is, they go "oh, I could do that." Society as a whole recognizes that not everyone can play music, paint, act, be a doctor or engineer, but because everyone is taught to write "I like cats" at age four, they think they can *write* properly in all other aspects. I think it must be defensiveness on the parts of these asshole jerks - um, that is, poor, misunderstood souls who haunt places like your community in question.

Which is why I don't belong to any writers' groups or language groups online. I find I spend enough time every day with the written word in the course of my job, and I'd really prefer to learn new things about writing from people who can actually impart practical wisdom to me in real life (such as editors, other reporters, by reading good books, etc.).

But yeah, to summarize, some of the biggest jerks in the world have the same interests you do and will exert rudeness to the Nth degree just to prove they're smarter than you.

[smtfhw.livejournal.com]

I can't help feeling that rudeness, rather like stupidity, ought to be a hanging offence. There are many people whose opinions I do not share; I have the right not to believe what they believe. I do not have the right to be rude to them because of it. It seems to me that that's the sort of behaviour that's at one end of the line leading to people like the current crop of suicide bombers - you don't share our beliefs, so we'll kill you.