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[veronica_rich]

I'm not sure if in my entire life, I've ever had a strong feeling for or against Valentine's Day. There have been relatively few I was dating someone, and it didn't really "excite" me in those years. Nor do I resent the many years I've not been part of a couple this time of year.

And ... I don't particularly understand those single people who do get angry or upset on February 14 just because of the day. So you don't have somebody - how is that different from the rest of the year? Why be more upset on that day than others?

I'm at a Starbucks as I write this, sitting across from this young couple in their 20s, who I pretty much have to stare directly at if I look up over the laptop screen. He's been doing almost all the talking; she's sat there pretty much the whole time looking pretty passively upset/tired. What little she's spoken has been accompanied by near-tears. She keeps looking at him like she's trying to figure him out. Meanwhile, he's been going through several stages of talkativeness, somberness, quiet, animation. Now - I suppose it's possible her upset has nothing to do with him. Maybe her mother's sick, or she had a bad work or school day yesterday. Maybe she's sick. But I can't help thinking she looks a lot like I did when I was not much younger than they are, and part of a couple, during the last year of our three-year relationship. The guy had become a massive disappointment for many reasons (not the least of which being that his personality did a 180 in that last year - for the worse), and I didn't yet have enough experience to recognize that I should cut the strings and walk away sooner than we eventually did.

What I remember most is how I was upset and nervous more than I ever have been since then, over how I was presenting myself to another person. It's one thing to worry about things you can't entirely control - if you'll get a good job, be able to balance your budget, have that job this time next month, if people you love will live or die, etc. - but it's another entirely to be on edge because you don't know if you're pleasing someone. I never ever want to be in that situation again ... and so I'm sitting here thinking You're younger and have more time left, but I'm still glad I'm not you about this woman.

Any particularly irritating/enlightening/horrifying/disgusting/uplifting related stories any of you want to share?

Comments

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

My vomiting and other flu-related problems are gone. Does that qualify as an "uplifting" story?

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Well, not for your esophagus. ;-)

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

Or other parts of my body. ;-)

[placeofinsanity.livejournal.com]

I've been single for the last five years, so I'm pretty apathetic to the idea of Valentine's day. I think it's a hoax for the hallmark company and it poses no real value in our lives, but then, any day that people give out chocolates is supposed to be fun. (Except I don't like chocolate.)

At any rate my funny story for the day, my room-mate/best friend received either a phone call or a text message today from every single ex boyfriend and or past friend with benefits today. And she didn't get a single one from her ACTUAL and CURRENT boyfriend.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

my room-mate/best friend received either a phone call or a text message today from every single ex boyfriend and or past friend with benefits today

HAHA, desperation!

I was behind this kid at Target who was checking out with a little stuffed animal and a small box of chocolates. AT 9:15 PM. Tonight. (And it wasn't for dear Mom, 'cause let's just say the message on the chocolates wasn't son-ly.) Somebody's itching to get laid!

[placeofinsanity.livejournal.com]

The one time I ever had a boyfriend during Valentine's day, I was 13. He asked me what I wanted and I told him not roses, because I'm deathly allergic to them.

What did I get?

Roses.

[finding-neo.livejournal.com]

Nah, he's not itching to get laid or he would have been at a Spencer's store....we sold almost $900 worth of sex toys, lube, sexy lingerie, sex games, sex dice, handcuffs, whips, blindfolds.....

So, yeah, somebody is itchin' to get laid, but not that kid.

[metalkatt.livejournal.com]

That's a big part of what turns me off about the idea of Valentine's Day: It's no longer about love, just sex.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

But, the Spencer's in the mall was closed at 9:15. Target was the only thing in town left open at that time ...

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

It's definitely a capitalist holiday. I always spend the day worrying that I shouldn't get anything (for him) or that I'm not getting enough (for him) OR that he's not going to get anything (for me) or that he's going to get me too much.

Well, this year we both had the day off (which is rare) and sat around talking about how silly it all is and how we didn't feel like doing anything special. So we didn't. (And we still managed to eat too much chocolate - it's a habit.)

I did finally break down and get S01 of Boston Legal the other day. We had a laugh watching the first few episodes. So, I'm going to call it an uplifting day, overall. :D

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

That's one of the best new shows I've seen in a while - my sister provided me with the first four seasons, which I've blown through since Christmas already. Tell me what you think when you finish the season (and try to rent more on Netflix or Blockbuster or something).

[danglingdingle.livejournal.com]

I treat and consider Valentine's Day much like Christmas - it's completely useless and pointless and an excellent way to make people spend their small earnings on inane, supposedly obligatory junk. The only real meaning I can discern for its excuse for existing is that people have the perfect, pretty much scheduled time for proposing their significant others for marriage, which I think is quite nifty.

Although that can pose a real problem, since I'd imagine it also adding pressure on indecisive persons, which means hasty decisions before they're actually ready to be married. It's a slippery slope.

In Finland, there isn't really Valentine's Day such as it is in America. We have a Friend's Day, which is just as bad, since I'd like to think that friends can profess their affection on any given day, and if they can't, they're not really friends to begin with.

To finish this, I've a sad little story from the time I was a snot-nosed little (or not so very little,) twit, and we had this alledgedly bonding excercise at school on Valentine's Day.

We had to cut a cardboard heart and attach it to a string around our necks, completed with a pen hanging from it, and people were supposed to hug each other, and sign the heart. Sounds like a wonderful gesture, doesn't it?

I had exactly one name in my heart at the end of the day - The teacher's.

Yes, I was quite popular at school XD

So these days I use Valentine's Day for my excuse to write sappy, sweet stories about imaginary people who don't give a fuck about the day either :D

edit: 'decision' and its variates = easily the harderst words in the English language

[the-dala.livejournal.com]

I went out for dinner with two of my girlfriends, and we explained to our waiter that it was in fact Singles Awareness Day - so he gave us each a red rose. So the day ended on a pleasant note.

[mamazano.livejournal.com]

My husband is quite the romantic and would show up with roses and chocolates for no particular reason, except to say "I love you."

And being the romantic, but also pragmatic soul he is, he waits until the day AFTER Valentine's Day to purchase said items, at 50% off. God, I love that man!

I have a similar story about the travails of forced togetherness in school. I endured the empty Valentines box for many years (these days the kids have to give one to each classmate, but back then it wasn't mandatory). In high school, one of the clubs sold red carnations and V-grams, where one of their members would single out the lucky recipient in class and deliver the flower. I only ever got one, from a guy I could not stand.

These days I'd probably be friends with him.

[rlane33.livejournal.com]

I'm not really a fan of doing anything big for V-day, if I have someone or not. I don't think it's romantic to have the day scheduled.

Last night I was working at a fancy dinner. All of these couples, sitting around tables with other couples and some of them were so far from their partner, you couldn't tell who they were with. I swear some of those people must really not like being close to their "Sweetheart."

Once, while in Olive Garden (I think with yoiebear), I watched a young couple sitting and not speaking through almost the entire meal. Seriously? You're already out of things to say? And you're so young.

[elibad.livejournal.com]

One of my best friends was expecting to get engaged on Valentines a few years ago. I gave her then boyfriend, once fiancee and now husband a hard time about it, he agreed and told me that was never actually his intention, but she thought it would be romantic. I then gave her a hard time about that (I'm such a charming friend). He proposed over breakfast on the next morning, and now its actually a pretty good story.

I took possession of my condo two years ago. Best Valentines gift ever!

[a-silver-rose.livejournal.com]

Having been sans other half since . . . . well, a long time . . . I treat it like any other day. This year I intended to avoid it like the effing plague (long story, remind me to tell you off list). I ended up grabbing some "me time" and doing a thrift store run, which I stopped after one store because I totally geeked out on two skirts I can use to make costumes. So, I guess I had a pretty decent day, lol!

[a-silver-rose.livejournal.com]

Let me add this, too: Vday, IMO, may have had a noble purpose, but when you're alone and wanting to be with someone, the day tends to shove it on your face that you *are* alone. When you're happy being single, it's not so bad.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I suppose you could tell me anything IF YOU WERE ONLINE. :-P

[justawench.livejournal.com]

I've never had a lot of care about Valentine's one way or another, except in middle school, when I had a lot of care about a lot of things. Is there any more traumatic, desperate-to-fit-in time? Anyway, everyone who's anyone would receive huge bunches of mylar balloons, sent by their boyfriends, parents (I assume now mostly parents), etc. The more popular, the more balloons, to the point where the most popular girls looked like they might actually lift off outside.

Knowing this, my mom decided to surprise me by sending me a few balloons. Unfortunately, something happened en route, likely in the school office where volunteer student helpers oversaw the distribution, so by the time I picked them up the bunch consisted of one single latex balloon. Which is really worse than getting none.

And that's my whiny V. day story.