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No, there's nothing wrong with marriage
Oct. 4th, 2010 11:58 am... But why the push to keep couples together when they don't WANT to stay together? While actively campaigning against same-sex marriage in the same country, no less?
Some Christian conservatives are now focusing on the high divorce rate rather than only concentrating their efforts to block access to abortion and stymy same-sex marriage. That's well and good within churches and across that particular religion - but what does it have to do with wider society and, say, me? I don't identify as Christian; again, we have a case of one group trying to impose their chosen mythology on those of us who have chosen not to follow those precepts in our personal lives - so why should I feel any better about being legally forced to do so, when I don't choose to?
Divorce is more common in this country than it was 60, 100 years ago because women are allowed to make their own choices of mates; and because for the most part, they're no longer forced to stay with a spouse simply because he has a better job making more money. (Actually, I wonder if the divorce rate would be HIGHER if not for some still having to rely on this second one.) This isn't a denouncement against men - I simply recognize that men have long better had the financial option to stay or to go, whereas women have not so much. Many men stayed because hey, let's face it: It's hard to find another woman who'll do your housework and raise your kids the way your wife's already been doing, no matter how unhappy you might personally be with her.
I don't particularly like divorce or prefer it over staying together, but there are times when it's necessary and there are other times it's just damn preferable. I worked for a divorce lawyer for several years, and I can't even count how many divorces I handled - it was that many. Most of them were of the "we're just not suited to one another" variety, whether they married too soon or young, or just fell out of interest with each other over a long enough period of time. Most weren't dramatic, complete with cheating and beating and embezzlement - the majority of the people involved were decent human beings who just felt it was time to go their separate ways and were largely willing to find a way to divide possessions and care of the children without the matter going to a trial.
Some Christian conservatives are now focusing on the high divorce rate rather than only concentrating their efforts to block access to abortion and stymy same-sex marriage. That's well and good within churches and across that particular religion - but what does it have to do with wider society and, say, me? I don't identify as Christian; again, we have a case of one group trying to impose their chosen mythology on those of us who have chosen not to follow those precepts in our personal lives - so why should I feel any better about being legally forced to do so, when I don't choose to?
Divorce is more common in this country than it was 60, 100 years ago because women are allowed to make their own choices of mates; and because for the most part, they're no longer forced to stay with a spouse simply because he has a better job making more money. (Actually, I wonder if the divorce rate would be HIGHER if not for some still having to rely on this second one.) This isn't a denouncement against men - I simply recognize that men have long better had the financial option to stay or to go, whereas women have not so much. Many men stayed because hey, let's face it: It's hard to find another woman who'll do your housework and raise your kids the way your wife's already been doing, no matter how unhappy you might personally be with her.
I don't particularly like divorce or prefer it over staying together, but there are times when it's necessary and there are other times it's just damn preferable. I worked for a divorce lawyer for several years, and I can't even count how many divorces I handled - it was that many. Most of them were of the "we're just not suited to one another" variety, whether they married too soon or young, or just fell out of interest with each other over a long enough period of time. Most weren't dramatic, complete with cheating and beating and embezzlement - the majority of the people involved were decent human beings who just felt it was time to go their separate ways and were largely willing to find a way to divide possessions and care of the children without the matter going to a trial.
