"Oooh, look at me! I've got scissors for hands!"

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ROFL!!

died, passed, whatever

A few months ago, shortly after my mother died, I read a journal entry where the person was essentially ridiculing the notion of a newspaper reporter not using the word "died" and instead relied on other terms such as "passed on" to talk about death. I made some remark and while I don't remember exactly what I said, the gist was that sometimes this is somebody's wish (and for print it depends on the individual editor and context of the story). I pointed out my mother had just died and it was difficult for me to use "died," though I figured I eventually would.

Her response? To laugh at me. (I grant you I've made fun of people for a lot of things, but never for personal loss or tragedy.) It gave me a new perspective on this fellow fan, one I will not be forgetting anytime soon.

Today I attended a talk given by a woman who talked about her elderly grandmother dying in the hospital after an illness. She told how the grandmother had stuck around long enough to see her granddaughter one last time, and HER young children, despite the pain she'd been in. This happened a few years ago - and the woman still can't say "died." She used the term "passed on" and was visibly saddened at relating the memory.

It's only been four and a half months for me. I can say "died" now. The terminology doesn't bother me, even if the idea still does, and will for a long time. But I know people who can't yet talk about Mom that way, or even their own mothers that way. Or grandmothers, apparently.

It's not ridiculous. It's just coping. (And it's not bad journalism, either - it's a style. It's not my style, but it's not factually inaccurate.)