veronica_rich | need ... inspiration ...

This is totally not an emo post. I'm just missing my - inspiration, mojo, work ethic, whatever you want to call it. I have no desire to do much anymore, and it's driving me batty. I spent years working hard - good grades in high school and college, awards when I could, worked hard on my career (70 hours a week or more for little pay) out of college, got all kinds of awards there, too. Heck, when I lost my job five years ago, I took up temping and all kinds of part-time work just to stay afloat financially. I've lived on freelancing and legal work for the past several years. But I've hit a wall; I just can't do it anymore. I can't summon up the energy or inspiration or anything.

At this point in my career, as hard as I've worked, I ought to be somewhere, not stalled at a place 12 years in with nothing to show for it except a fancy resume I can't really use anywhere. I can't afford grad school, can't really afford to move and look somewhere else for an actual career-type job, and I simply don't know what to do to keep my spirits up and my "train on the track" these days. I've become lazy and uninspired, and that really sucks.

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From Jane Magazine:

PIRATE FANS CALL FOR DEPP + BLOOM TO GO GAY

Fans of magazine gossip are campaigning for PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN co-stars ORLANDO BLOOM and JOHNNY DEPP to star in a gay love scene together. When readers of America's Jane magazine were asked who they'd cast as homosexual lovers in a BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN sequel, they unanimously gave the movie pirates their vote. Depp has already admitted his Pirates of the Caribbean character, CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, has a gay quality about him, insisting his research suggested many pirates were bisexual. In one recent interview, the movie hunk said, "Pirates went to sea for years at a time. You're lonely... you have an extra ration of rum... 'Cabin boy!'"

But seriously, as an early thirties dame who is also a struggling freelance writer/editor and former overachiever, I feel your pain. In fact, many women I encounter who were driven in their scholastic years have all suffered from a serious burn-out at some time in their lates twenties, sometimes later on. It's a constant struggle to stay focused, despite low wages, fighting for the right jobs, the desire to feel established which will not be foreseably realized for a long while, and frustration with the inanity omnipresent in the world. Or maybe it's just me.

I do agree with the exercise comment, a beginner's yoga class has really helped me, but I also find a lot of encouragement in just treating myself to the things that do get my blood going, trying to enjoy cultural activities to the fullest, and deriving inspiration from the fact that these artists must have struggled at some point, too. I try to squeeze as much pleasure as I can from the things I love, literature, film, television, music, and art. Getting lost in these fantastical universes helps to distract me from the charge and reinvigorate my energies. Doesn't always work, but it can also be a comfort of sorts.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I understand completely where you are coming from and that you are not alone.

Cheers,

-G. ;D

Dude, you don't have a link to an online expansion of that piece from "Jane," do you? Because I could die a happy woman. XD

I know I'm not alone in my burnout; I've heard this happening to other women. Problem is, that doesn't make motivation for me. I've never based myself on what I was doing in comparison to other people but, rather, what I was doing compared to what I had already done. And I think the best stuff must be behind me! (No kidding, a lot of days. ARRGHHHHH.)

need ... inspiration ...

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