need ... inspiration ...

[veronica_rich]

This is totally not an emo post. I'm just missing my - inspiration, mojo, work ethic, whatever you want to call it. I have no desire to do much anymore, and it's driving me batty. I spent years working hard - good grades in high school and college, awards when I could, worked hard on my career (70 hours a week or more for little pay) out of college, got all kinds of awards there, too. Heck, when I lost my job five years ago, I took up temping and all kinds of part-time work just to stay afloat financially. I've lived on freelancing and legal work for the past several years. But I've hit a wall; I just can't do it anymore. I can't summon up the energy or inspiration or anything.

At this point in my career, as hard as I've worked, I ought to be somewhere, not stalled at a place 12 years in with nothing to show for it except a fancy resume I can't really use anywhere. I can't afford grad school, can't really afford to move and look somewhere else for an actual career-type job, and I simply don't know what to do to keep my spirits up and my "train on the track" these days. I've become lazy and uninspired, and that really sucks.

Comments

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

The folks who get the farthest in our modern "business" world tend to be the backbiting assholes who never look beyond their own wants. I know you're socially conscious (with a "moral center" even), so you were doomed to have less luck in "business" (and all the schooling in the world won't help you if you're not willing to suck up to the boss). You should take heart that there are things more important to you than capitalism.

~

Have you tried exercise? Nature walks can do wonders (if you have the time).

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Well, I've always exercised off and on. Unfortunately, right now is sort of an "off" time. I started walking a couple of miles a few times a week three years ago, and while I've dropped off to 2-3 times a week, I've kept it up over that time. I realize I'd feel a little better with exercise, but the thing is, you need energy to do it - that's the big problem.

I don't know that it's disillusion with capitalism or business that's doing it - I mean, I've been aware of that problem for a very long time and I've never made enough money that you could properly call me all that participatory in the system, anyway. (I know that part of my problem is crushing debt I can't afford, yes.)

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

If debt is your worst problem, have you tried some kind of consolidation? (I'm afraid I have zero experience with those kind of loans/'financial arrangements' but I'm pretty sure you can have monthly payments lowered - if you're willing to pay for a longer time).

~

I very much agree with heartofslash on setting small goals. I also make lists of Things To Do (because it does feel good when you can cross something off it).

~

I also recommend Green Tea. (My favorite "pick me up" is actually Starbuck's Mocha, but that stuff is so damn expensive I finally had to give it up. I can drink the Tea without sugar - so it's a healthier fix too, for me.)