Critics? Yeah, you. FUCK YOU.

[veronica_rich]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/elizabethtown/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/kingdom_of_heaven/


Now I could understand being wrong about one movie. But two? Sorry, guys - you're showing your Orlando prejudice. Give up, put the pens down, and go the fuck home. You lose at critical, thoughtful reviews. No longer will I let you put me on alert against an actor who happens to do a decent job. Go back to harassing Ben Affleck.

Yes, I saw both. Yes, I went in to each one with many trepidations, thinking they'd be disasters. Based on reviews. AND THEY WEREN'T. Dammit, anyhow.

EDIT:
For those who don't know me in real life, let me get this out of the way (and I know there's no way you can ask people who know me, yeah, but take my word for it): I do not like pretty actors. I generally go out of my way to avoid them, which is unfair at least some of the time, but there it is. I did not like Orlando Bloom at first because he was too good-looking - yes, it's all true. I mention this only so you realize I actually did go into each of the aforementioned films skeptical of what I would see, both in each movie and in his performances.

Let me also get this out of the way: I do not think Bloom is yet at the top of his game ... which is actually a Good Thing, since where can you possibly go if you peak at 28? At this age, all I really expect to see is the beginnings of real goodness in art, and the potential for much more focused work later on down the road. Do I get that from this guy? Yes. Do I think he needs to work more on his depth and range? Yes. But it's at least in there trying to come out - I just don't think he's old enough to "grab" it yet.

Drew Baylor is his own character. He is not a variation on Elf, or Blacksmith, or Baron, or Boxer, or Sailor. He is Drew, a depressed, messed-up, mostly-numb (but not completely!) fellow whose life is now as much shit as it ever was gold before. With various actors, I like to play Let's-Spot-Our-Favorite-Characters in scenes - you know, look for expressions and such that evoke past roles (as in, "Oh, there's Legolas!" or "Yep, that's Will"). I don't get that very much at all from this actor, perhaps because contrary to some critical dissertation, he actually does have a range of emotions.

This whole movie wasn't nearly as wandering or rambling as the critics make out. I don't fathom their incomprehension - can they really not keep up with subplots, and distinguish Plot A from Subplot B, C, and so forth? I think it's time to go back to high school for some Lit classes, if that's the case. Then again, maybe I just like complex storylines. I may have a difficult time writing and weaving so many storylines together, but I am capable of appreciating someone else's talent for doing so.

After seeing the trailers, I was a bit horrified by some of the dialogue; I won't lie, there are a few lines in the movie that just fall sort of flat. I also expected cloying syrup from Kirsten Dunst - not that I think she's bad, but the previews didn't give me hope. I want to admit this isn't the case. She's a particular kind of woman, sure, but if I met her in real life, I wouldn't try to choke her.

Alec Baldwin gets a GREAT 5-minute cameo. Susan Sarandon's is longer and not as punch-WHAM!, but I think she played the part as it was written.

Cameron Crowe may have done better movies - I still like "Almost Famous" just a *teensy* bit more for the subject matter and writing - but then again, I wasn't at all impressed with "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." Age has improved him, or at least expanded his horizons, as far as I can tell. The only thing I might have asked for in "Elizabethtown" was a little more darkness for the lead characters.

Comments

[herm42.livejournal.com]

well thats good to hear. I'm going to see etown w/ a friend on monday. She showed me a scathing review from somewhere else today but we decided to stick to our guns and go anyway. (how bad can staring at OB for two hours really be?? :) and dunst is one of my favs too) Haven't seen KOH yet.

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel any better about critics, the USA Today review wasn't too nice about the movie but praised the hell out of Orlando's acting. They LOVED him.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

You know, I don't necessarily feel "bad" about critics. The emotion they're inspiring, by and large, is annoyance - sort of like the teen fangurls who seem incapable of voicing WHY they just love, love, love! Orlando (THEY inspire that whole "quit making my side look bad" reaction). I'm more pissed off at myself, I think, for taking their overall ratings and even halfway believing them before I went to see the movies for myself. (These are some of the people, after all, who happily gave POTC less-than-stellar ratings ... right up until they figured it was popular, then backwheeled and jacked up in time for the DVD release.)

Historically, my favorite actors haven't been classically attractive. Besides Michael J. Fox, I'd say Bloom is only the second actor in my life I've liked a lot who happens to also be popular. If he were just pretty but vapid, I wouldn't follow his career - in fact, I started out not particularly liking him because he was too good-looking. And I don't really care about his personality off-camera - Sean Penn is an asshole, or at least he used to be, but the man can ACT - so I don't use "well, he seems nice and gracious" to justify my like of him. I just like him; he has talent. He's not at the top of his game at 28 - big surprise! Where would he go if he were? (Gosh, look back at Johnny Depp at 28 - pretty, but not a lot to write the Academy about.)

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I think having low expectations from the critics actually helped me enjoy it more. I go in worrying, and I realize part of the way through, "My God. This doesn't suck! It's ... enjoyable!"

[benkenobigal.livejournal.com]

I've learned that generally...critics are idiots. The movies they pan I love. The movies the praise to the heavesn...I think suck rocks. I can almost guarantee that if the Washington Post trashes a movie, not only will I love it, it'll be a financial success.

They crapped all over Elizabethtown, too.

Dorks.

[the-dala.livejournal.com]

Not only that, I think it's cool to hate on Cameron Crowe now or something. I mean, from the reviews I've skimmed, I just want to know have they ever actually seen one of his movies? This one is not that far off the usual. Or doesn't look it -- I'm seeing it tomorrow and expecting nothing but the pretty and a great soundtrack, so I hope to be pleasantly surprised.

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

I completely agree. I have typically liked the actors and actresses that the "industry" has deemed "alright." Hell, I began my fascination with Kate Winslet way back with "A Kid in King Arthur's Court." I hated that movie, but I saw potential with her and really began to like her with "Sense and Sensiblity." I liked her well before "Titanic" when everyone else began to say, "That Kate Winslet is really good."
And, like you, I didn't like Orlando in the beginning. I couldn't like him and I just couldn't place my finger on why, but I didn't. He has grown on me during the last year or two, just as his talent has.
As for favorite actors that aren't very good looking, look up Christopher Eccleston. I think he is extremely attractive, but no one else I know does. I guess I'm weird. LOL

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I think it's our blogging culture, honestly. Many people are so used to saying whatever they want to someone online, whom they'll NEVER have to face, that they've devolved into a "fuck you, I don't have to respect you at ALL" cockiness on message boards, LJ, etc. These are people who, without computers, would probably be too timid or craven to tell someone what they really think of them - now they can be nasty little negative trolls.

My whole point is that negativity really seems the attitude online anymore, where I'm reading pretty much all my movie reviews. So it sort of makes sense that these people would crap all over anything that shows some hope and isn't all gritty and nasty and negative.

NEWSFLASH: Real life is enough of a bitch. Sometimes, I just want to escape somewhere more pleasant and dream for a couple of hours. Why would I go into a theater and WANT to be reminded how suck it is once I walk back out?

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

My favorite actors have included Fox (back during his "Family Ties" days - he has since done quite a lot of really good work, both comedic and dramatic); Brent Spiner; Dwight Schultz; Griffin Dunne; Jake Gyllenhaal (one of the earlier "Donnie Darko" fans here); Johnny Depp (even when I wasn't *wild* about him I acknowledged him as an exceptional talent); and Alec Baldwin ("Beetlejuice," anyone?). NONE of these are bad or substandard actors.

I see potential in young Orlando. If he keeps trying, it'll fight its way out.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I think you need to pick one or two critics, sort of get to know their style and preferences, and you can generally then base your potential likes and dislikes on how well you agree with those traits.

This is the one bad thing about online reviews: Every idiot with a computer and a modem who WANTS to fancy himself a critic, CAN.

[benkenobigal.livejournal.com]

But I've yet to find any critics that I don't disagree with at least 85% of the time. So I just go opposite of the crowd. :) It's easier that way, too.

I'm really completely head-over-heels for Bloom. Old lady lust, but I can't help it. :)

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I agree. I'm just glad he can actually act. *G*

[finding-neo.livejournal.com]

Why read critics at all is my question? I don't even pay attention to those one liners they put in the trailers on TV - "Stupendous!" "A riotous good-time." etc because that's just a good press agent pulling a few words from a review. Just give me enough of a trailer to whet my appetite and not give away the best moments of the film and I'll make up my own mind whether its worthy of my cash.

In other news:

I completely agree about all the negatively online, but it has become a greater force in all of society, not just online. Does anyone enjoy living anymore? It's a very simple basic thing. Think about it - do you have a problem at this exact moment as you read these words? Are you infected with bird flu? No, you don't and no you are not. So why the complete and utter fascination with fates which may or may not befall us?

You know things are going to shit when a simple discussion of movie reviewers ellicits philosophy. LOL

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

The potential is trying to come out in Orlando, has tried to come out from the beginning, but I don't think he truly knows what to do with the roles he is given. He needs to sit down and coach himself rather than just jump into it.

I'm with you that Griffin Dunne is a wonderful actor. I also like Fisher Stevens. Who didn't like "Short Circuit?!"

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I think he was on the right track in movies where he had supporting roles and should stick with that for a while - he was learning from various kinds of great actors. You can't just "leap" and expect to hit the mark on your first few or even several tries. Frankly, maybe he just needs to keep bloodying his nose until he "hits" it.

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with you. I also don't think the fact that he became a sex symbol so early in his career has helped him. It makes people (critics, really) think that he is nothing but a pretty face and that drives me insane. He's nice looking, but he also has talent and you can't keep knocking that.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

and you can't keep knocking that

Sure you can ... especially if you don't have that talent yourself, or the opportunity the guy has.

OB has said he doesn't read critics' reviews of his movies. I don't know how true that is; I'm pretty sure his publicist, at least, reads them. I was reading over at IMDB a comment from someone who was *so* very focused on finding something to bitch about that he criticized OB for this comment and was saying "how will he ever improve if he doesn't read these things?"

I will tell you right now, from 12 years as a journalist, that I have NEVER gained a damn positive-change thing from a critical reader that I didn't first/concurrently get from a fellow writer or editor. Now granted, I'm not the Johnny Depp of the journalism world ... but then again, I wonder how many of his critics The Depp has listened to, who haven't been actors/directors themselves. My point is, when I'm looking to improve my technique or style, I look to other writers - people who actually know the craft and how to work within it. And if Orlando wants to improve, he should look to other actors or directors to give him ideas - NOT the flake writing for killermovies.net.

As for the sex-symbol thing: How could that have been helped? He was cast in a fairly minor (dialogue-wise) role, and when I watch the first movie, I don't see him hamming up his time onscreen. If people noticed him, there must have been something about him TO notice, eh?

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

By "first movie" I mean LOTR:FOTR, of course. *thwaps self in head*

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

You know I'm not a slave to other people's opinions (or I try not to be), and yet I still wonder sometimes if there's something wrong with my tastes because I like an actor few other people seem to take seriously or like. I mean, NOTHING like that has ever happened to YOU, I know (BTW, "Thumbsucker" is playing at the artsy theater here in town, FYI).

In other news:

MY personal negativity on a daily basis comes from never having enough money to pay off my long-term debts. Yeah, I don't like this country's politics right now, we're headed for some deep shit, et cetera - but those are long-range concerns that you can't dwell on 24/7. However, the money thing does worry me immediately. Funny thing is, though, I can't say I'm depressed most of the time ... 'cause I'm not. I suppose I have reasons to be, maybe, but other than lack of funds (and those damn politics), I don't know what they are at this very moment in time. *sigh*

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

I agree about looking to others in the craft for ways to improve. I have had many people calling me and yelling at me about an issue on a local ballot. One woman even told me that I am a terrible reporter and that I should worry about my career. I almost asked her if she knew what a career is because it was 3 p.m., she was calling me to bitch and I could hear a TV on in the background.

A lot of people think that you need to listen to all critics of your work and that isn't true. Listen to a comment made by someone who has done the exact work longer and then you will know if you need to work harder.

As for the sex symbol thing, I don't think he cares what people think of his looks. Orlando seems to be comfortable in his own skin. And, yes, there must have been something to notice, but I didn't see it with the blond wig.

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

I knew which movie you meant. I think we all do when it comes to OB.

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

I've always tried to ignore critics, they just aren't on the same wavelength as an 'Average Joan' like me. (I can't decide if they're too embroiled in the 'Hollywood' mind set or the 'Holier-Than-Thou Literary' mind set, but even when I agree with their 'thumbs-up'/'thumbs-down' vote I tend not to agree with their reasons for it. That said...

I didn't read any reviews for KoH. Maybe if I had I wouldn't have been so shocked that it didn't do better at the US box office? I didn't really care for the ending - the movie felt unfinished - but most of it was excellent. (Hell, my husband liked it! That makes it a milestone in my Orlando!quest. :-p )

I have been reading reviews for Etown and they are making me nervous about it. No one has mentioned the accents, though. In watching the previews, I get stuck on both Orlando's and Kirsten's accents. And it might just be that I'm so used to hearing them in their own accents, that it's the actors that sound funny to me, not the characters (if that makes any sense). I usually have problems with a movie that puts non-Southerners in Southerner roles (because the actors usually suck at the accent).

So.... How were the accents?

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Living in Tennessee, as Claire does (though in a different part), I thought her accent was pretty good. She doesn't veer into over-Southernizing except for the very occasional word here and there. I thought it was mild Southern, which is what Tennessee IS.

Drew's character has spent most of his life in the Pacific Northwest, so he doesn't have a Southern accent, and he's not supposed to. It's quite modulated and well-enunciated, and as far as I'm concerned, I don't track any British traces in it, except just very occasionally a noise here and there - it's really not enough worth mentioning, honestly.

It's a good movie, honest. It's rambling, but everything does have a point. I've never seen a perfect movie, but this one makes me feel good, even when I cry at a couple of parts.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Some people exist in life to exist as obstacles for those of us actually willing to get off our asses and put ourselves at risk for failure. My personal favorite has always been the person, every so often, who wants to tell you what to do because "I took a couple of journalism classes in college ..."

And my answer has always been, "Really? I never did. I have an English degree. I've learned everything I know by actually doing it."

[gaelbrady.livejournal.com]

Ah, the sign. My roomie and I took an E'Town trip a few weeks ago...and now we're going to go back since we've seen the movie. What fun!

[riveroceansea.livejournal.com]

My review from my lj yesterday:

Let me say first of all that I have loved Kristen Dunst ever since she did 'Interview with the Vampire'. In this movie she's so bubbly you want to bottle some of that for yourself. If I had to pick a character that was closest to Orlando's true self, it would be Drew. From being overwhelmed by all the attention his father's family gives him to his vulnerable side throughout the movie. So overwhelmed by that 'teeny' billion dollar mistake. I give the screenwriters credit, they certainly came up with an unique way for Drew to attempt suicide. Alec Baldwin, as in 'Aviator' makes the best of his short amount of screentime as Orlando's boss. Susan Sarandon as Orlando's mother also steals her scenes in the movie. And then there's 'Freebird'. Words fail to describe it completely, but hysterical is a good start. Orlando really shines in the last thirty minutes of this movie where he's driving home and stopping a different places along the way, talking to his dad, scattering his ashes in different places as he goes. Some funny, some touching and one that completely blew me away. Hint: U2. The only complaint I really had was the inconsistency in Orlando's accent, especially during the voiceover in the beginning.
It's a wonderful movie, funny and cute. Anyone who says it's a typical love story wasn't paying attention.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Did you think the accent was inconsistent because you were catching hints of British, or just different American accents? I think Orlando was just having some trouble with it, but you could argue the character has lived in enough places that he'd have a jumble - South, Cali, Pacific Northwest. (It's a theory.)

[torigirl218.livejournal.com]

thanks so much for sharing! I can't agree with you more. I wish we could do something to make the critics WATCH Orlando's acting, not judge him based on his looks.
-T

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

No, he's going to have to convince them on his own. If he cares at all, I think he'd make the greatest inroads by choosing a role that's villainous or that requires him to drastically change his appearance to something much less "pretty."

I'd like to say he should just keep learning, take a few chances here and there, and stick with his guns, slow though they may be. But we live in such a fast-food society, if someone doesn't *hit* it right away, we get impatient and toss them aside.

[riveroceansea.livejournal.com]

For me, I could hear his English accent. I guess the best way to describe it is clipped on the vowels not quite as rounded as an American accent would be. However, I can see your point about the mixed accents.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

My only real criticism is he was enunciating so carefully in the voiceover, when he needed to slur his words together a bit more. He sounded like someone who's learned "American" as a second accent. But to his credit, I didn't think he backslid into his British, and he sounded quite different from his usual self.

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

I know that feeling. Like the people that e-mail me wanting to do the music reviews because "I am 24 and have a college degree, just so you know." Well, shit, so am I and I have a Bachelor's in Journalism. Not only that but I have been writing music reviews for five years. I think that last part is more than enough to qualify me. Although I have a Journalism degree, I taught myself how to write music reviews. I had to, my advisor never wrote them, only read them. The week my first review was due, I sat down in my dorm room with a Rolling Stone and read every music review in that damn thing. From there I gained my personal style.

We need to do what we think is right and how we think we should do it. I say "fuck it" to everyone that thinks we are wrong.

[gaelbrady.livejournal.com]

See...I didn't think that it jumped around like a lot of the reviews said. It followed a pretty steady path throughout. And it was great to go along for the ride, although I wish the road trip part wasn't such a minor part. Though it makes me want to hop in the car and go somewhere. It was a great movie...I saw it again today. And will see it again on Tuesday.