I don't want to be repeating what others have already said about Elizabeth and how you've presented her character, so I'll just say you're doing a bang up job.
You've made the clearest distinction between Jack and Will with this story when compared to A Heart Divided, perhaps unknowingly, but it's there to be found nonetheless.
Will can't be discussed about like he's not in the room even when he's not in the room. Jack can, even when he is present. Curious thing, but very true. Says a lot about the characters, like it does about how well you know the characters.
The one line that really stuck with me from the many lines that are...stickable, was this: “Well, he’s a fucking DEMIGOD, what do you expect?”
I can't express the things that line does for me, since there's a whole lot packed into it, but the first thing that hit me with it was the realization that it is a thin, brittle line between natural and supernatural, and yet it's enough of a barrier to keep from truly understanding what Will has become. I do give Jack enough credit so I believe he can adjust to it better than most, but it can't be easy even for him. I see him reassuring himself as much as he's laying down the fact there.
And Queen William? Hee! Now there's a royalty I could bow down infront ^^
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Date: 2008-07-08 04:44 pm (UTC)You've made the clearest distinction between Jack and Will with this story when compared to A Heart Divided, perhaps unknowingly, but it's there to be found nonetheless.
Will can't be discussed about like he's not in the room even when he's not in the room. Jack can, even when he is present. Curious thing, but very true. Says a lot about the characters, like it does about how well you know the characters.
The one line that really stuck with me from the many lines that are...stickable, was this:
“Well, he’s a fucking DEMIGOD, what do you expect?”
I can't express the things that line does for me, since there's a whole lot packed into it, but the first thing that hit me with it was the realization that it is a thin, brittle line between natural and supernatural, and yet it's enough of a barrier to keep from truly understanding what Will has become. I do give Jack enough credit so I believe he can adjust to it better than most, but it can't be easy even for him. I see him reassuring himself as much as he's laying down the fact there.
And Queen William? Hee! Now there's a royalty I could bow down infront ^^
Can't wait for more.