It takes the reader immediately aback to see through will's eyes as he sinks with the Dutchman, looking up seeing Jack and Elizabeth as they soar from BENEATH the water.
By adding simply "well-cast" to the standard metaphor of the bell, you remind the reader of the MEANING of a too often used one; you link his clear sight with the pure sound of the bell and add to the atmosphere of his being underwater and of his sudden sharp awareness like a tuning fork struck.
Sure touches throughout such as the reversal inherent in: >even as he was being anchored to the sea, over the rush of waves replacing the tympani of his own heartbeat< Them soaring clear while he is enwrapped and pulled down.
Also, so far uniquely, you speculate on the effort of "will" it took the new Master not only to make his ship return to the battle but on the side of the pirates and the Pearl. Calypso has already made clear she is against the pirates. In fact, she seems to be having a general temper tantrum with the maelstrom that actually creates a level playing field.
His response is so very much in character, and the very best of his character at that. Not only resisting becoming nothing more than Calypso's slve but making his own choices stubbornly still.
And making them with instinctive generosity and love:
>Turner knew which would keep his two birds flying.<
It's almost a benediction, as if they can fly FOR him too.
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Date: 2008-03-28 12:11 am (UTC)It takes the reader immediately aback to see through will's eyes as he sinks with the Dutchman, looking up seeing Jack and Elizabeth as they soar from BENEATH the water.
By adding simply "well-cast" to the standard metaphor of the bell, you remind the reader of the MEANING of a too often used one; you link his clear sight with the pure sound of the bell and add to the atmosphere of his being underwater and of his sudden sharp awareness like a tuning fork struck.
Sure touches throughout such as the reversal inherent in: >even as he was being anchored to the sea, over the rush of waves replacing the tympani of his own heartbeat< Them soaring clear while he is enwrapped and pulled down.
Also, so far uniquely, you speculate on the effort of "will" it took the new Master not only to make his ship return to the battle but on the side of the pirates and the Pearl. Calypso has already made clear she is against the pirates. In fact, she seems to be having a general temper tantrum with the maelstrom that actually creates a level playing field.
His response is so very much in character, and the very best of his character at that. Not only resisting becoming nothing more than Calypso's slve but making his own choices stubbornly still.
And making them with instinctive generosity and love:
>Turner knew which would keep his two birds flying.<
It's almost a benediction, as if they can fly FOR him too.