You're a dick, Morty

I know they're just stupid commercials, but gods, I hate the Swiffer commercials with the old couple, with the old fart watching his 900-year-old wife struggle to climb up on dangerously unstable furniture to DUST, when he's like two heads taller and could just reach up wherever safely and knock the dust off without leaving the floor. "Be careful, babe." Ewwww. This was the 35-year-old in the 70s with all the chains who thought he was so cool hittin' on the chickas.

Ergh. Commercial.

New Red Dwarf fic - "Fools Fall" part 1/2 (R for language)

About a month ago, I posted the first part of a fic I'd been wrestling with for the better part of a month up to that point. Because it's been so long and I want the parts closer together on my LJ, I'm going to repost the first part again as part of the entirety - so if this looks familiar despite the different title, that's why. :-)

"Fools Fall"
Red Dwarf chars. Lister/Rimmer, et. al.
Rated R for language
Summary: Lister. Rimmer. Kinitawawe bride on the rundown. Marriage of convenience. You guess the trope.
Disclaimer: I only play with these guys, for free. When I figure out how to file off the serial numbers a la E.L. James, I'll let you know so you can all buy it. ;-)
Author's Note: An AU set after Series 8, could be considered part of the Someone to Watch Over You 'verse, either set within or as an AU to that. Choose your own adventure!
A/N 2: This story has taken a ridiculous amount of time for what it is, quite frankly, and I'm glad to be done with it (and just shows how pained my writing is anymore). However, if you have any logical breaks with what's in it or you think it could be improved, let me know in the comments, because I've looked at it too long myself.


( Lister reflected that he was a lousy leader. Like, if he’d been in charge of the campaign against Troy, Rome would never have had need to originate, lousy. )