Awwwwwe spoilery

[veronica_rich]

(And if you can't guess what the subject line means by now, you haven't been reading me long enough.)



Will looks all gross and OH MY GOD WHY IS HE TOUCHING HER LEG LIKE THAT? EWWWWWWW, I thought this was a kid's movie! I am dreadfully sorry to inform you that, alas, the whelp is *not* a eunuch after all. Sorry if that is shocking, children. (And married people do those things - not just dirty pirates and modern kids way too young to even be kissing.)

WE DIDN'T GET OUR ENDING! That is a most unfortunate turn of events, I must say. But I can't help but wonder if many of you didn't shoot yourselves and your comrades in the collective foot by harassing and threatening the writers - after all, the series would still have ended W/E (as was always intended), but maybe *all* references to J/E wouldn't have been so surgically excised from the final edit of AWE. It is a most telling reversal of fortune that the very writers who were, less than a month ago, rank geniuses, are now the scurviest dogs on a Hollywood lot.

Why are other fans looking at us like that? If I may be so bold ... perhaps for the first time in months, they feel like they can all play in the big fandom sandbox again without being ridiculed or talked down to, and they enjoy it? No? Then I've no answers for you, mate. Maybe they're all cold, fish-hearted cretins who ought to be staffing Jones's great- er, um, that is, Turner's great ship. At least *I* feel your pain. Come join the ranks of slashers, loves. We have fruit.

Well, but at least Jack displayed his love for Elizabeth by saving Will, right? Right? 'Tis a distinct possibility that his fondness for the strumpet influenced his decision, but by and large, I shall have to concur with a great number of my colleagues and presuppose that everything Jack did that was remotely pleasant or good in AWE was not, in fact, all (or, perhaps, any) for Elizabeth's benefit. I'm very sorry to inform you that he does, in fact, possibly have respect for other characters in the series and would do things for them.

How can Will impregnate Elizabeth after his heart is gone? Have you not ever heard of Zeus, mate? Why, that scoundrel once got his get on AS a swan. Produced a right fetching bit of skirt, as I recall - Helen, I believe was her name. Ran off with that whelp Whatshisface Trojan prince.

(Edited for correction on the Zeus-side of mythology. This is what you get when you write while watching TV with your sister instead of paying sufficient attention to the *writing* part of things.)

Comments

[gloromeien.livejournal.com]

Last time I checked the heart wasn't the part required for conception. What are they teaching in sex ed nowadays?

-G. ;)

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Aye, but the heart is what pumps blood. I guess a penis is the only thing in need of blood - legs to walk, brain to think aren't in need of the stuff.

I, too, think all those abstinence-only courses are having a bad effect on kids today .......

[philosophercat.livejournal.com]

I really like what Jack's action re: Will and the heart has to say about Jack. He's been all wibbly and indecisive, but when the chips are down and he has a milisecond to act- he does. And what he does is completely self-less.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I figured that was the moment where he proves he IS a good man - by giving up the immortality he'd worked toward for three movies (or at least the latter two) for a friend.

[philosophercat.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I think it was also the moment that galvanised their friendships- the Will, Liz, Jack friendship. After all they have been through, there is something which goes beyond all that- beyond the plotting and counter plotting.

[(Anonymous)]

It's the moment of truth.
And, as Ted Elliott has noted, it's
"... the first definitive, completely unambiguously altruistic thing he's done in any of the movies since saving Elizabeth from drowning."

[solitaryraven.livejournal.com]

Amen! Hence the reason he's such an amazing character. He's full of contradictions and all else but when it comes right down to it, there's no denying that he's a good man.

Hehe. Look at us WE and JW shippers talking about how great Jack is. See, unlike the JEers, we don't have to resort to character bashing to enjoy our respective ships. Sorry, I'm just sick of so many people ripping Will apart just because he stands in the way. Someone I thought was a friend of mine was just talking about how the spoiler for the movie that got her extremely excited was learning that Will dies. Please...must we really be that pathetic?

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Hell, I even like Elizabeth again, particularly when she's being all RAWR and taking names from the ass-kicking.

[philosophercat.livejournal.com]

AWE was totally the mirror image of CotBP. Will stands on the rail and makes with the hero-speak, Elizabeth stands on the rail and makes with the hero-speak, Jack sails in on the spar of a dinghy, Jack sails over a sand dune on the spar of the Pearl, Will and Liz fight together holding a sceptre between them, Will and Liz fight together holding hands while being married. ;)

I like Elizabeth for the first time (not just 'again'), even if she is still a Mary Sue-ish character in some respects.

[solitaryraven.livejournal.com]

Me too! I definitely liked Elizabeth much more after this movie.

[philosophercat.livejournal.com]

I still think he has a larger plan. ;) I'm all about Jack having plans underneath his madness and apparent self-seeking actions.

This movie has finally made me interested in Elizabeth. I really did not feel any sort of attraction to her as a character in the first two films, but I think she has really come a long way. And her relationship with Will has a lot of interesting possibilities. So, I guess if I had a ship it would be WE.

[solitaryraven.livejournal.com]

That's how I felt, as well. Elizabeth was okay in the first, I hated her in the second, but I really like her after the third. I like how they depicted her as using her brain rather than her sexuality to get what she wanted. She was strong, smart, AND faithful. Perfect Elizabeth.

[philosophercat.livejournal.com]

And, in case you didn't already see it, here's my poster for Mr.Bloom's rumored next project:

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I saw that; it really made me laugh (the phrasing on it). I've heard this rumor, but I'd also heard he wasn't really doing it.

[solitaryraven.livejournal.com]

That has to be close to the best thing I've read in awhile. I love how WE fans can now feel safe "playing in the sandbox." Priceless. It's true. With the way we've been ripped apart by JEers over the past year, it's surprising there are any of us left in fandom at all.

Agreed, 100%, totally and completely with the "it's not all for Elizabeth's benefit" part. So many people feel that the only person Jack would have done that for is Elizabeth. Okay, honestly, after this movie, it's obvious that, yes, Jack cares for Elizabeth. However, since when does caring mean that it's romantic, that he wants to spend the rest of his perhaps-on-day immortal days with her? He cares for her, he cares for Will, and, shock of all shockers, at heart, he's a good man. Jack, the Captain Jack Sparrow that we met in the first movie, may be a lot of things, he may be selfish at times, he may betray people at times, he might be a scoundrel at times, but there's no way I could see Jack living with himself had he put his own quest for immortality above that of saving a man that had saved him once before, a man that might, just a bit, be one of the people he cares for most.

[philosophercat.livejournal.com]

there's no way I could see Jack living with himself had he put his own quest for immortality above that of saving a man that had saved him once before, a man that might, just a bit, be one of the people he cares for most.

And remember what Captain Teague says about how immortality is second to living with yourself. The thing with Jack is that he keeps having his good nature taking advantage of, he keeps getting betrayed, but he's strong enough not to let that turn him into something he is not.

[solitaryraven.livejournal.com]

Wow. I knew of that line before I even saw the movie, how did I not notice that connection. I completely see Jack that way, too. He "holds things close to the vest." He's not going to let a whole lot of people in but I really think that despite their respective betrayals, Will and Elizabeth are two of the few that he can't help but care for, even if it is against his better judgment. There's too much of himself that he sees in them.

[poetic-self.livejournal.com]

Have you not ever heard of Zeus, mate? Why, that scoundrel once got his get on a swan, too. Produced a right fetching bit of skirt, as I recall - Helen, I believe was her name. Ran off with that whelp Whatshisface Trojan prince.

_grin_

WRITE IT.

PotC/Troy *L*

[captsparrow4evr.livejournal.com]

Um, honey, Zeus _was_ the Swan. The girl's name was Leto (sp?). Famous paintings and sh*t have been based on the myth. He also took the form of a "golden shower", turned a girl into a cow, and abducted (er, "raped") Ganymede while in the form of an eagle.

As for AWE, I still haven't seen it. I'm going mad, I tell you! I wanna see the pretties!!!!!!

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

DUDE, EVEN BETTER! (Yeah, I'm totally covering that I forgot it was the other way around.) Will can impregnate AND change form! *G*

[elibad.livejournal.com]

OMG! wots wrong wit u! Its so oblivious that it's jack's luv baby! And that Lizzie is just going to see will to rub it in and throw his stinky old hart back in his ugly face. did u even see the moive! Eat shit and dye Jessica!

Have I mentioned that the IMDB boards scare me. A lot. But your inner-Jack amuses me, so all is good.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

IMDB is only good for looking up movies that have already happened; there are too many errors, otherwise. And the only thing the discussion boards are good for are occasionally finding photos or videos or links. My sister fondly calls them "the board wars."

[vejiicakes.livejournal.com]

Dude. DUDE. Forget the J/E-ers: you've seen it all when you find someone arguing that Will/Elizabeth was randomly placed filler material, and that romance and pirates don't belong in the same movie anyway.

... good god, I was actually arguing in defense of Will/Liz as a ship, what has the world COME too? O_O

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Hey, they were pretty hot in this installment. I may have to write het or OT3, honestly.

[elessil.livejournal.com]

Maybe they're all cold, fish-hearted cretins who ought to be staffing Jones's great- er, um, that is, Turner's great ship.

We are. But I insist that I am, in fact, a clownfish. *puffs cheeks* (No, not making blowfish jokes at all)

Zeus managed to get kiddies in a great many of forms. He's rather creepy that way.

And didn't you know? the heart pumps the sperm!

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

I'll be a blowfish if Turner ever goes fishy and has to stay with the sea.

I'm just sayin' ...

[elessil.livejournal.com]

I think we're not taking the distress with the proper seriousness.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

No. No, not at all.

*tries for Serious Face. fails. puts on Constipated Face instead*

There we go.

[elessil.livejournal.com]

That's better!

Once was quite enough. *coughs and giggles and chokes on popcorn*