veronica_rich (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
veronica_rich) wrote2006-07-27 12:53 am
veronica_rich) wrote2006-07-27 12:53 am
need ... inspiration ...
This is totally not an emo post. I'm just missing my - inspiration, mojo, work ethic, whatever you want to call it. I have no desire to do much anymore, and it's driving me batty. I spent years working hard - good grades in high school and college, awards when I could, worked hard on my career (70 hours a week or more for little pay) out of college, got all kinds of awards there, too. Heck, when I lost my job five years ago, I took up temping and all kinds of part-time work just to stay afloat financially. I've lived on freelancing and legal work for the past several years. But I've hit a wall; I just can't do it anymore. I can't summon up the energy or inspiration or anything.
At this point in my career, as hard as I've worked, I ought to be somewhere, not stalled at a place 12 years in with nothing to show for it except a fancy resume I can't really use anywhere. I can't afford grad school, can't really afford to move and look somewhere else for an actual career-type job, and I simply don't know what to do to keep my spirits up and my "train on the track" these days. I've become lazy and uninspired, and that really sucks.
At this point in my career, as hard as I've worked, I ought to be somewhere, not stalled at a place 12 years in with nothing to show for it except a fancy resume I can't really use anywhere. I can't afford grad school, can't really afford to move and look somewhere else for an actual career-type job, and I simply don't know what to do to keep my spirits up and my "train on the track" these days. I've become lazy and uninspired, and that really sucks.
no subject
I've actually had the fear a couple of times already, and I end up deeper in debt after each one. The first time, I quit one job for another and moved hundreds of miles from everyone I knew. That job ended after a little over a year because of shitty employers - I quit without having another job ready. In fact, I quit to go overseas for a month - the second instance of "getting the fear" - and spent money I didn't have, though I did learn a lot.
So it's not that I don't know how to do just what you suggested - I simply can't afford it any longer, LOL.