Writer's Block: Honesty is such a lonely word

[veronica_rich]

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Why, no. Not at all. It is far better to squirrel away your annoyances and grievances until you let them fester into resentment and imagined slights, and instead simper and hint around once in a while that things might not be quite as good as they should be. We wouldn't want to be impolite or unladylike, after all.

Comments

[sirriamnis.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on what you mean by honesty. Do I lie to my husband? No. Do I tell him everything that crosses my mind, like how many times during this last move I've wanted to cut him into chunks small enough to ship to Timbuktu? Also, no.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Ah, but that's with the understanding he doesn't say the same thing to you every time it crosses his mind, am I right? :-P

We're not talking about whether she looks fat in a dress or his hair on top is getting thin. These are the sorts of things, you know, that shouldn't affect any relationship if fudged about. (Sometimes they DO, but they shouldn't ...)

[crevette.livejournal.com]

Gee whiz, I wonder where THAT came from...

LOL.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't know. Horses' asses too cowardly to tell you what's wrong until you chase them down for an answer? Relatives who insist that since they are never wrong, you must be the one eternally mistaken? Parents who refuse to discuss anything with you as a fellow adult unless it's to tell you what they want, and fuck-all what you think about it? Co-workers who withhold information that you NEED until either (a) the last minute or (b) you think to ask them about it, in the name of playing games, rather than producing the best possible work product?

There are a lot of places this could've come from this year. As I get closer to 2010, I review my year and can't help but notice every goddamn problem that's arisen has come from a lack of honesty when it would have mattered. (No, not with you or anyone on my f-list.)

[gobsmacked.livejournal.com]

Co-workers who withhold information that you NEED until either (a) the last minute or (b) you think to ask them about it, in the name of playing games, rather than producing the best possible work product?
If I didn't know better, I'd think we worked in the same place :-)

If I were a boss, I'd fire anyone that did this. In fact, I once had a boss who more or less did this. He was a crap manager, but he suspended an employee who withheld information to screw over a fellow worker because in doing so she screwed him over too. I love the smell of karma in the morning.

[a-silver-rose.livejournal.com]

I love that last line! *eg*

[virginia-fell.livejournal.com]

Ha! Awesome.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

*bows*

I'll be here 'til I die! :-D

[immortal-jedi.livejournal.com]

Well, I suppose you've earned a bit of harmless passive agressiveness...

No, I pretty much agree that honesty is very, very important.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Only toward Dad; he's the only person who's caused me grief this year that I haven't completely told off. He'd better improve his behavior, too, or it's coming.

[gobsmacked.livejournal.com]

Honesty is better given directly to the subject of it than by a third party. By this I mean: if you have a beef with someone, it's best to tell them before it gets back to them via a third party. Particularly true if you value the relationship in any way.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

In all seriousness, it's also better not to over-honestize when addressing someone directly - IF you value the relationship, that is. What I mean by that is, vocabulary is important. If you want to preserve a friendship, you can tell someone you're upset with them or their behavior without calling them names or using the harshest, nastiest language you can find.

Unless you're ending the friendship. Then it's totally acceptable. (But don't do this and expect the person to stay your friend!)

/not directed at you

[pktaxwench.livejournal.com]

...and with that statement, I believe you understand the life of an army wife better than you could ever know...

(I survived, BTW.)

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

And I believe YOU understand growing up around my dad's family more than you could ever know. (I too survived - and got out as soon as I could.)

I read your post - was it that bad?

[a-silver-rose.livejournal.com]

Yeps, it's best to be honest, but use discretion and all. Who at work has not been honest?

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Sure, tact and discretion are fine. I'm not against that at all. But don't hide things away and let it build to a point of detriment.

OT

[gobsmacked.livejournal.com]

Why can't edit comments in this post? I can edit them elsewhere. Enquiring mind wants to know.

Re: OT

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Well, you can't edit comments that have been replied to already ...

Re: OT

[gobsmacked.livejournal.com]

Ah. I think I spotted a typo or something.