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Have you ever felt uncomfortable saying "I don't like it when other fans pick on my favorite character?" You think it sounds kind of wimpy and lacks any true "oomph" as a plea or an argument? Conversely, do you ever feel hesitant saying "I don't like this character" without an 8-paragraph qualifier or explanation (that usually serves nothing but to dig you in deeper shit)?
Say you had a favorite high school boyfriend. You could find all his characteristics in another man five years later, and you two might hit it off. Or you might not. Maybe you can't even explain WHY you don't like this new guy - there's just something about him you want to get away from, in opposite reaction to how you felt about Boyfriend #1. But it's fairly certain no sane person is going to tell you that you ought to keep dating the second guy if you don't like him, no matter how much in love you were with Whatshisface way back then.
It's the same with characters. You may not like every incarnation of a type of character across genres or shows; what you loved in twenty may rub you severely the wrong way in the twenty-first.
And that's probably okay. It's also okay that other people don't like your guy. I've been occasionally annoyed by people who disagree with me, but frankly, since there is no better final argument for this than "HE IS TOO, COOL! UH HUH!" I just have to live with it. I can't make someone finally see my light by verbal bludgeon. (And with Will, sadly, I can't fall back on the Big M - misogyny - as an excuse to condemn a disagreer.)
There comes a point where a difference of opinion can be made a bigger problem by repeatedly demanding that people explain themselves constantly and precisely. To me, it's nothing more than a trap, where "I'll be reasonable" really means "unless you're in my brain taking dictation, you haven't a prayer in hell of jumping through my hoops." It doesn't lead to better understanding after too much wankage; it just makes grown adults resentful of being treated like naughty children, and creates hard feelings that someone may regret in a week or two. (Am I guilty? I wouldn't say I'm not. I may argue for a bit, but at some point even I know I gotta throw in the towel or wave the white hanky.)
I need some other fans to enjoy what I enjoy. That's why I create communities or get involved with mailing lists, or write about the characters I like. But if everyone doesn't agree, I can't force them to. And sometimes, you've got to consider what you know of the commenter from past association and not take a comment made in a hurry as "proof" of lapsing morals.
ETA: Isn't it amazing how the wank of the Favored Ones of Fandom never end up on Fandom_Wank, even after 300+ comments, but someone who rarely speaks up to question them (that should be sufficient clue that I don't mean anything I wrote) gets added after one day?
Say you had a favorite high school boyfriend. You could find all his characteristics in another man five years later, and you two might hit it off. Or you might not. Maybe you can't even explain WHY you don't like this new guy - there's just something about him you want to get away from, in opposite reaction to how you felt about Boyfriend #1. But it's fairly certain no sane person is going to tell you that you ought to keep dating the second guy if you don't like him, no matter how much in love you were with Whatshisface way back then.
It's the same with characters. You may not like every incarnation of a type of character across genres or shows; what you loved in twenty may rub you severely the wrong way in the twenty-first.
And that's probably okay. It's also okay that other people don't like your guy. I've been occasionally annoyed by people who disagree with me, but frankly, since there is no better final argument for this than "HE IS TOO, COOL! UH HUH!" I just have to live with it. I can't make someone finally see my light by verbal bludgeon. (And with Will, sadly, I can't fall back on the Big M - misogyny - as an excuse to condemn a disagreer.)
There comes a point where a difference of opinion can be made a bigger problem by repeatedly demanding that people explain themselves constantly and precisely. To me, it's nothing more than a trap, where "I'll be reasonable" really means "unless you're in my brain taking dictation, you haven't a prayer in hell of jumping through my hoops." It doesn't lead to better understanding after too much wankage; it just makes grown adults resentful of being treated like naughty children, and creates hard feelings that someone may regret in a week or two. (Am I guilty? I wouldn't say I'm not. I may argue for a bit, but at some point even I know I gotta throw in the towel or wave the white hanky.)
I need some other fans to enjoy what I enjoy. That's why I create communities or get involved with mailing lists, or write about the characters I like. But if everyone doesn't agree, I can't force them to. And sometimes, you've got to consider what you know of the commenter from past association and not take a comment made in a hurry as "proof" of lapsing morals.
ETA: Isn't it amazing how the wank of the Favored Ones of Fandom never end up on Fandom_Wank, even after 300+ comments, but someone who rarely speaks up to question them (that should be sufficient clue that I don't mean anything I wrote) gets added after one day?
