veronica_rich (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
veronica_rich) wrote2006-04-25 10:26 pm
veronica_rich) wrote2006-04-25 10:26 pm
Flabbergasted and Utterly Aghast
This is a tale of one woman's confusion with the state of the world - well, scratch that. The state of my own country, specifically.
I've known a certain LJ friend in real life for several years, since she was a teenager - we'll call her N. She's like my second younger sister. Sooo, I know quite a bit about her medical history, including the fact she suffers from an almost-continual period. There's blood, clots, cramps ... you get the picture.
When she was about 19, she told me her doctor determined she had a condition which made her more susceptible to uterine cancer than the average woman, but that she couldn't have a hysterectomy until she was at least 21. After she turned 21, I figured she'd rush right out and have it removed, but she said her doctor wouldn't do it. This flabbergasted me, especially since I know N has no interest in being a mother and has a very REAL interest in being rid of pain and the inconvenience of continuous bleeding. I thought perhaps she hadn't made herself very clear to her doctor; why else would he refuse to remove an organ giving her so much trouble? This is the 21st century - there's hormones that make it quite easy for a woman without a uterus to continue with life as normal.
It wasn't until I had surfed the Internet a few more years and was exposed to a wider world that I understood N was not alone, and I realized it wasn't a misunderstanding that has kept a malfunctioning, renegade organ in her body at least six years longer than normal: It's plain old sexism.
How do I figure? Today alone, I've had to read four posts on my LJ f-list from frustrated women pulling their hair out over the inability to get doctors to listen to their reasons for wanting tubal ligations, IUDs, and other forms of birth control. This isn't the first day I've had to read this, and I know it won't be the last.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of me and every other woman being treated like a uterus with a hairstyle. Worse yet, I'm tired of this bullshit coming from other women! A man who tromps all over a woman's rights - at least I can safely presume he simply doesn't know what it's like being female, and I have a hope of educating him. But a fellow woman - that's fucking treason, sister.
I'm tired of hearing "we can't do that because we might get sued." Well, guess what? Viagra makes men see blue! Not that that's stopped many of them. Viagra can KILL some 70-year-old, and yet, not only can other old farts keep getting it, they can have it paid for by the same insurance that WON'T cover birth control, abortions, tubal ligations, OR mammograms until age 40. (Because we all know no woman under age 40 has ever died from breast cancer.)
I'm tired of my body and the bodies of my female friends being treated as shrines for The Almighty Clump of Cells. Yeah, women can gestate babies. Yeah, they're the only ones who can do it. Many men - and far too many women - act like this is some unfair advantage women have in biology. Well, let me tell you what: I'd happily trade it tomorrow for a body that doesn't bleed at least once a month for days at a stretch for 40 years. Do you know what a menstrual cramp feels like? Imagine someone getting their hands inside your lower intestines, SQUEEZING AND PULLING AND TUGGING AND FOLDING THEM FOR SEVERAL HOURS STRAIGHT. At least.
I'm tired of the dominant cults in this country - Catholicism and various branches of fundamentalist Christianity - having more say over what happens to my body than I do! I say FUCK YOU. You want control of my body? Fine. Feed it. Keep it in clothes. Keep it properly examined and medicated (I haven't had health insurance in five years because it costs too fucking much). And while you're at it, don't require me to work, pay taxes, and be sure to properly lobotomize me, because contrary to the opinion that drives this sort of behavior, I DO POSSESS A WORKING BRAIN. (No, I don't have a penis to house it, but I've managed somehow for almost 34 years with that handicap. Incidentally, if I did have a penis, I'd have little to no problem getting the little tubes from balls behind it snipped. No, there's no sexism in regulated medicine.)
I'm REALLY really tired of pharmacists who won't dispense properly-prescribed birth control or the morning-after pill, because it goes against their beliefs. I've been in the workforce since I was 15 years old - nearly 20 years now - and I've had to do a LOT of things for customers and clients that I personally wouldn't do myself. I've had to help people do things I don't even believe in - legally speaking, of course - in the interest of getting a paycheck that is a mere fraction of what a pharmacist gets to take home at the end of the week. Wah, cry me a river - fucking just shut up, suck it up, and save your prosthelyzing for Sunday (or Saturday) morning.
This trend of treating women like they don't know which end is up is demoralizing, demeaning, and illogical. To ban abortion, for example, is to treat every woman the moment she gets pregnant like either a child to be ordered around or slave property to be watched and controlled at all times. She who is forced to gestate against her will is no longer a person, but an incubator. She who is kept from having a harmful, inflammatory LARGELY UNNECESSARY body part removed to improve her health is basically being told her life isn't worth the shit that comes out of it.
Apparently it's okay for us to work, pay taxes, and contribute to society, but not to govern our own life choices. And I find it wholly ironic that legislators and religious folk have no problem treating women like they don't know much when it comes to their own bodies, but they're instantly acceptable to raise the next generation once they roll out of the birth canal. But as I stated above, what really twists the knife is hearing any or all of this bullshit being seriously spouted by fellow women. I mean - damn.
Of course there is no organization to this. It's a rant, bitches. There's a lot more I could say. But do I have to?
(EDIT: Because this thing is getting more traffic than I expected, I removed my friend's specific tag; I'll just call her N for her privacy.)
I've known a certain LJ friend in real life for several years, since she was a teenager - we'll call her N. She's like my second younger sister. Sooo, I know quite a bit about her medical history, including the fact she suffers from an almost-continual period. There's blood, clots, cramps ... you get the picture.
When she was about 19, she told me her doctor determined she had a condition which made her more susceptible to uterine cancer than the average woman, but that she couldn't have a hysterectomy until she was at least 21. After she turned 21, I figured she'd rush right out and have it removed, but she said her doctor wouldn't do it. This flabbergasted me, especially since I know N has no interest in being a mother and has a very REAL interest in being rid of pain and the inconvenience of continuous bleeding. I thought perhaps she hadn't made herself very clear to her doctor; why else would he refuse to remove an organ giving her so much trouble? This is the 21st century - there's hormones that make it quite easy for a woman without a uterus to continue with life as normal.
It wasn't until I had surfed the Internet a few more years and was exposed to a wider world that I understood N was not alone, and I realized it wasn't a misunderstanding that has kept a malfunctioning, renegade organ in her body at least six years longer than normal: It's plain old sexism.
How do I figure? Today alone, I've had to read four posts on my LJ f-list from frustrated women pulling their hair out over the inability to get doctors to listen to their reasons for wanting tubal ligations, IUDs, and other forms of birth control. This isn't the first day I've had to read this, and I know it won't be the last.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of me and every other woman being treated like a uterus with a hairstyle. Worse yet, I'm tired of this bullshit coming from other women! A man who tromps all over a woman's rights - at least I can safely presume he simply doesn't know what it's like being female, and I have a hope of educating him. But a fellow woman - that's fucking treason, sister.
I'm tired of hearing "we can't do that because we might get sued." Well, guess what? Viagra makes men see blue! Not that that's stopped many of them. Viagra can KILL some 70-year-old, and yet, not only can other old farts keep getting it, they can have it paid for by the same insurance that WON'T cover birth control, abortions, tubal ligations, OR mammograms until age 40. (Because we all know no woman under age 40 has ever died from breast cancer.)
I'm tired of my body and the bodies of my female friends being treated as shrines for The Almighty Clump of Cells. Yeah, women can gestate babies. Yeah, they're the only ones who can do it. Many men - and far too many women - act like this is some unfair advantage women have in biology. Well, let me tell you what: I'd happily trade it tomorrow for a body that doesn't bleed at least once a month for days at a stretch for 40 years. Do you know what a menstrual cramp feels like? Imagine someone getting their hands inside your lower intestines, SQUEEZING AND PULLING AND TUGGING AND FOLDING THEM FOR SEVERAL HOURS STRAIGHT. At least.
I'm tired of the dominant cults in this country - Catholicism and various branches of fundamentalist Christianity - having more say over what happens to my body than I do! I say FUCK YOU. You want control of my body? Fine. Feed it. Keep it in clothes. Keep it properly examined and medicated (I haven't had health insurance in five years because it costs too fucking much). And while you're at it, don't require me to work, pay taxes, and be sure to properly lobotomize me, because contrary to the opinion that drives this sort of behavior, I DO POSSESS A WORKING BRAIN. (No, I don't have a penis to house it, but I've managed somehow for almost 34 years with that handicap. Incidentally, if I did have a penis, I'd have little to no problem getting the little tubes from balls behind it snipped. No, there's no sexism in regulated medicine.)
I'm REALLY really tired of pharmacists who won't dispense properly-prescribed birth control or the morning-after pill, because it goes against their beliefs. I've been in the workforce since I was 15 years old - nearly 20 years now - and I've had to do a LOT of things for customers and clients that I personally wouldn't do myself. I've had to help people do things I don't even believe in - legally speaking, of course - in the interest of getting a paycheck that is a mere fraction of what a pharmacist gets to take home at the end of the week. Wah, cry me a river - fucking just shut up, suck it up, and save your prosthelyzing for Sunday (or Saturday) morning.
This trend of treating women like they don't know which end is up is demoralizing, demeaning, and illogical. To ban abortion, for example, is to treat every woman the moment she gets pregnant like either a child to be ordered around or slave property to be watched and controlled at all times. She who is forced to gestate against her will is no longer a person, but an incubator. She who is kept from having a harmful, inflammatory LARGELY UNNECESSARY body part removed to improve her health is basically being told her life isn't worth the shit that comes out of it.
Apparently it's okay for us to work, pay taxes, and contribute to society, but not to govern our own life choices. And I find it wholly ironic that legislators and religious folk have no problem treating women like they don't know much when it comes to their own bodies, but they're instantly acceptable to raise the next generation once they roll out of the birth canal. But as I stated above, what really twists the knife is hearing any or all of this bullshit being seriously spouted by fellow women. I mean - damn.
Of course there is no organization to this. It's a rant, bitches. There's a lot more I could say. But do I have to?
(EDIT: Because this thing is getting more traffic than I expected, I removed my friend's specific tag; I'll just call her N for her privacy.)
no subject
What about a married woman who doesn't want children? Or does she have no choice in the matter because she's married and it's her duty to have children? Tell that to my friend Tammy, who recently married and has no interest in giving birth or adopting.
What about when birth control fails? Condoms break; the Pill is less than 100 percent effective. But then again, I suppose a woman taking charge of her own sexuality outside of marriage is just a slut who deserves what she gets, eh? (I notice you say nothing about a man being held to the same standard.)
I do believe that all life is sacred from conception.
and
Unless it was a rape, she is not being "forced" at all!
Ah, here comes the hypocrisy. If you say all fetuses are sacred, then no pregnancy can be terminated because ... well, they're all sacred. But if you feel a woman who was raped and doesn't want to be pregnant was forced into it - well, you've got yourself quite a dilemma, there. All I can say is I'm certainly glad that *I* believe in letting each woman make her own decisions. I'd be kept quite busy playing God, otherwise.
no subject
was linked here by nobleplatypus - really good rant. I'm gonna link to it myself, just in case any of my friends havent seen it.
no subject
no subject
Anyway, what the hell does married/unmarried have to do with anything in what we're talking about? A married woman can use birth control, and hey, if a married woman can be raped by her husband in the eyes of the law (which law I fully agree with--rape is rape, regardless of the relationship), that implies that a married woman can be choosing not to have sex with her husband. I'm not saying that married folks shouldn't screw each others' brains out (hey, that's part of the fun of getting married, I suppose), but I just wanted to say that to point out that you bringing marriage into this was completely out of nowhere and that argument is irrelevant. And talking about not wanting to have kids and the condoms breaking or the pills failing or what-have-you--wasn't this whole rant about a woman's right to have surgery that will render her incapable of having kidsies? I never (never once, you go and check) said that such should not be an option--indeed, I agreed with you on that count wholeheartedly. Shows me what good comes of being agreeable. And why are you bringing in assumptions about my views on sex outside marriage? Aaaalso irrelevant, despite the fact that hey, you're right, I do think it's a sin. Whoopee.
On the subject of abortion in the case of a rape--no, I don't think it's right even then. I only agree with abortion in those cases where it is necessary in order to save the would-be mother's life rather than have her die trying to deliver a baby that wasn't going to survive anyway. Ah, so now you will go "aha!" and point (pointing makes me unhappy) and say I'm pro-forcing gestation in that case...but no one's forcing the woman to keep the baby after it's born. There are waiting lists for adoptions, you know.
On the subject of holding men to the same standard--of course I would hold them to it. I thought that went without saying.
You talk about me playing God in not wanting women to kill their unborn babies...but what gives the woman the right to play God and decide whether or not a child will get a chance at life?
no subject
If I choose not to have sex, I'm "playing God" because I will NOT get pregnant. So why shouldn't I have equal chance to terminate a pregnancy as I have to begin one? Seems to me I wouldn't exist if Mom had never had sex or had used good birth control, or had aborted the fetus that grew into me - and that was her right. I wouldn't be around to know the difference. Having "choice" means never having to wonder if you were really wanted by your mother.
A fetus and a baby are not the same. A fetus, to a point, requires a host life support system simply to process oxygen. A fetus within me would depend on ME keeping it in order to survive to a point where it can be born and breathe air and ingest food independently of my body. Therefore, I should WANT to keep said fetus until it can be safely born - if I'm forced to carry it and I don't want it, that is a punishment, not a blessing. And I promise I will resent having to pay for something I didn't want for at least 18 years. What kid deserves to start life like that?
If other people want to play the "single + sexually active = bad" game, that's their opinion. To me, single women and married women ought to be treated with similar respect in their reproductive choices - that's why I brought up marriage. And that includes the right to choose a safe abortion.
Shows me what good comes of being agreeable.
On ONE point. You also came into MY journal and gave an opinion in contradiction to what I had already stated myself. You even acknowledged you were disagreeing with me (go back and check). You should expect a rebuttal. (Hey, I would never start Bush-criticizing in front of a neocon and expect to get off without a little verbal warfare. *G* )
Don't confuse my debating you with a personal attack. I actually like the chance to clarify my opinions on abortion - God alone knows I've spent literal decades formulating them, as you probably have.
no subject
Well, it's agreed that without conception, the baby does not exist--never exists, never will exist. Never will know if it is wanted or not because it never was.
Where we differ, though, is that you see ending the pregnancy partway through as just an extension of that--of the kid just not existing. What I see, though, is the kid existing and then dying--therefore, no, if you or I had been aborted, we would not know whether we were unwanted because we didn't exist in the present time. An aborted fetus did, however, exist at one time--just as anyone who has died at any age existed but is no longer here to know this or that. An aborted fetus is someone who has died...hmm. I'm on the verge of new clarity with this, but it's not quite there.
Apologies for the snark, but it's become a bit frustrating to express my own views on these things when I spend most of the time in Boulder, where they call anyone and everyone who disagrees a redneck. In the past these sort of debates have become quite heated. I honestly don't know why I still join in because it's just absolutely miserable when it gets to that.
Also always upsetting to have folks talk about Christians as if we were all psycho Bible-thumping hypocrites. After reading the comments on here...le grr. Gets me going.
no subject
Well, the enduring hope is that the normals will begin at some point to police the nuts. Unfortunately, the nuts in your group are the ones who are the loudest and want desperately to be rewarded with legislation and power simply for the way they pray. It's sort of like trying to be a moderate liberal in a world of Ted Kennedys and Al Frankens.
no subject
I was once accused by a teacher of arguing down the middle in a paper...but why should we insist on going to an extreme every time?
no subject
I don't think fencesitting is so bad in a lot of political issues - in fact, I don't take a strong, consistent view in either direction except on a few issues. I think a reasonable person should pick their battles and keep sort of neutral on most things, adopting a "wait and see" on each individual case.