Flabbergasted and Utterly Aghast

[veronica_rich]

This is a tale of one woman's confusion with the state of the world - well, scratch that. The state of my own country, specifically.

I've known a certain LJ friend in real life for several years, since she was a teenager - we'll call her N. She's like my second younger sister. Sooo, I know quite a bit about her medical history, including the fact she suffers from an almost-continual period. There's blood, clots, cramps ... you get the picture.

When she was about 19, she told me her doctor determined she had a condition which made her more susceptible to uterine cancer than the average woman, but that she couldn't have a hysterectomy until she was at least 21. After she turned 21, I figured she'd rush right out and have it removed, but she said her doctor wouldn't do it. This flabbergasted me, especially since I know N has no interest in being a mother and has a very REAL interest in being rid of pain and the inconvenience of continuous bleeding. I thought perhaps she hadn't made herself very clear to her doctor; why else would he refuse to remove an organ giving her so much trouble? This is the 21st century - there's hormones that make it quite easy for a woman without a uterus to continue with life as normal.

It wasn't until I had surfed the Internet a few more years and was exposed to a wider world that I understood N was not alone, and I realized it wasn't a misunderstanding that has kept a malfunctioning, renegade organ in her body at least six years longer than normal: It's plain old sexism.

How do I figure? Today alone, I've had to read four posts on my LJ f-list from frustrated women pulling their hair out over the inability to get doctors to listen to their reasons for wanting tubal ligations, IUDs, and other forms of birth control. This isn't the first day I've had to read this, and I know it won't be the last.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of me and every other woman being treated like a uterus with a hairstyle. Worse yet, I'm tired of this bullshit coming from other women! A man who tromps all over a woman's rights - at least I can safely presume he simply doesn't know what it's like being female, and I have a hope of educating him. But a fellow woman - that's fucking treason, sister.

I'm tired of hearing "we can't do that because we might get sued." Well, guess what? Viagra makes men see blue! Not that that's stopped many of them. Viagra can KILL some 70-year-old, and yet, not only can other old farts keep getting it, they can have it paid for by the same insurance that WON'T cover birth control, abortions, tubal ligations, OR mammograms until age 40. (Because we all know no woman under age 40 has ever died from breast cancer.)

I'm tired of my body and the bodies of my female friends being treated as shrines for The Almighty Clump of Cells. Yeah, women can gestate babies. Yeah, they're the only ones who can do it. Many men - and far too many women - act like this is some unfair advantage women have in biology. Well, let me tell you what: I'd happily trade it tomorrow for a body that doesn't bleed at least once a month for days at a stretch for 40 years. Do you know what a menstrual cramp feels like? Imagine someone getting their hands inside your lower intestines, SQUEEZING AND PULLING AND TUGGING AND FOLDING THEM FOR SEVERAL HOURS STRAIGHT. At least.

I'm tired of the dominant cults in this country - Catholicism and various branches of fundamentalist Christianity - having more say over what happens to my body than I do! I say FUCK YOU. You want control of my body? Fine. Feed it. Keep it in clothes. Keep it properly examined and medicated (I haven't had health insurance in five years because it costs too fucking much). And while you're at it, don't require me to work, pay taxes, and be sure to properly lobotomize me, because contrary to the opinion that drives this sort of behavior, I DO POSSESS A WORKING BRAIN. (No, I don't have a penis to house it, but I've managed somehow for almost 34 years with that handicap. Incidentally, if I did have a penis, I'd have little to no problem getting the little tubes from balls behind it snipped. No, there's no sexism in regulated medicine.)

I'm REALLY really tired of pharmacists who won't dispense properly-prescribed birth control or the morning-after pill, because it goes against their beliefs. I've been in the workforce since I was 15 years old - nearly 20 years now - and I've had to do a LOT of things for customers and clients that I personally wouldn't do myself. I've had to help people do things I don't even believe in - legally speaking, of course - in the interest of getting a paycheck that is a mere fraction of what a pharmacist gets to take home at the end of the week. Wah, cry me a river - fucking just shut up, suck it up, and save your prosthelyzing for Sunday (or Saturday) morning.

This trend of treating women like they don't know which end is up is demoralizing, demeaning, and illogical. To ban abortion, for example, is to treat every woman the moment she gets pregnant like either a child to be ordered around or slave property to be watched and controlled at all times. She who is forced to gestate against her will is no longer a person, but an incubator. She who is kept from having a harmful, inflammatory LARGELY UNNECESSARY body part removed to improve her health is basically being told her life isn't worth the shit that comes out of it.

Apparently it's okay for us to work, pay taxes, and contribute to society, but not to govern our own life choices. And I find it wholly ironic that legislators and religious folk have no problem treating women like they don't know much when it comes to their own bodies, but they're instantly acceptable to raise the next generation once they roll out of the birth canal. But as I stated above, what really twists the knife is hearing any or all of this bullshit being seriously spouted by fellow women. I mean - damn.

Of course there is no organization to this. It's a rant, bitches. There's a lot more I could say. But do I have to?


(EDIT: Because this thing is getting more traffic than I expected, I removed my friend's specific tag; I'll just call her N for her privacy.)

Comments

[wendynat.livejournal.com]

Can't agree more. I used to kind of get the lawsuit argument, but then thought about it a bit more and realized that if they can make a release that can stand up in court for something like jumping out of a plane with a rubber band attached to your ankle (aka bungee jumping), then they can darn well make a release form for docs to use for elective procedures that would stand up in court.

And the fun doesn't end when you have a kid - no, indeed, evidently one's not enough. It's hard to find a doctor to do a tubal and/or hysterectomy when you don't have at LEAST two kids. Pardon me while I go slam my head in my closet door.

[yoiebear.livejournal.com]

You have just put into words exactly how I feel about this "Christian" society. Amen to you. Abortion is a hot topic in my area (stupid Ohioians) and my theory is, "how can I tell someone what they can and cannot do with their own bodies and lives? Just because I don't think I would have an abortion does not mean I can tell someone else they are not allowed."

[captsparrow4evr.livejournal.com]

Want something else to rant about? How about this--in Nebraska, there is a law that makes it a felony to harm a fetus during the commission of a crime. OTOH, if a boyfriend kills his wife's little boy and _FEEDS HIM TO THE FUCKING DOG_ he gets 36 months. Were there outcries of protest over this? Did Random Terror and his fundie morons show up to object? Of course not. Once the kid has arrived, they don't care anymore.

We need the Rapture to happen right now. Please.

[vejiicakes.livejournal.com]

Didn't you get the memo? A woman's body is no longer hers once a man's put his penis in her.

Seriously, I'd have more to say, involving all sorts of, "Word!" and the like, but you've summed it up better and angrier and more beautifully than ever I could regurgitate in comment form, so I'll just be sitting over here, plying my goddamn uppity uterus magickal sacred baby box with chocolate until it settles down.

[smtfhw.livejournal.com]

Amen to all that! Of course, in some ways we're no better off than we were in the 1960s, and in the US a lot of you are worse off it seems to me. There's been a decrease in the rights that were won back then, and it seems to be snowballing. And for Christ's sake don't get me going on the subject of today's stupid young women who sit there and whine "I'm not a feminist." Why the bloody hell not, you silly little fools?

You've read "The Handmaid's Tale" I assume... That's what you end up with if you extrapolate from now and things don't improve.

Agreed!

[xerxesskyknyght.livejournal.com]

I was referred to this post by my girlfriend, and I must say one thing:

You, miss, win the internet.

I completely side with you on the whole "christianity needs to get its goddamn hands off my rights" thing, and in fact everything you said above; far too long we've been buffaloed by their xenophobic, self-righteous, illogical bullshit. There is no reason why they've stayed in power as long as they have, none. That post is easily one of the most cogent statements on the rights (or lack thereof as the case is around here) of women in our country I've read in a long time. More people need to get their heads out of their asses and realize just how ridiculous our treatment of women has become.

Major props. I wish there were more people like you and my girl who used their goddamn heads and stood up for what's right and just, and not what's accepted.

[nobleplatypus]

You rock my world. *applauds* Sterilization is a non-issue for me (asexuality was never so convenient :P), but damn... there is NO logical reason to refuse to perform a hysterectomy for medical reasons, and I refuse to believe that doctors really care that much about the potential for future life; what the fuck is the purpose of a vasectomy if not preventing the making of babies? Jesus Tap-dancing Christ. Hypocrisy makes me want to SMASH THINGS.

Mind if I link this on my LJ?

[forkgirl.livejournal.com]

Came over from the CF comm - this is just beautiful. I applaud you, and wish there were a way to get more people to understand this than to bash them over the head with it (because, after all, I don't want to be like those bible-thumpers). Though sometimes it is tempting...

[biggelois.livejournal.com]

I had to leave my puter and have some coffee when I had read this. I thought we were sorta suppressed here in Sweden but you win.
Sweden is a basically non religious country so we don't have that sort of influence here. And it seems like I should be grateful for that.But what we do have is a regression back to the old ways of thinking, as in; oh, a female, let's do her.
Sweden has been on the top ten list of equal thinking but that is no more. Over the last years women have been reduced to a *move between kitchen and bedroom* level again. Which is scary. Especially considering the amount of gang bangs performed more and more often here. This is a small country, very much so, so everything is very much noticeable.

One positive thing is that women are usually treated with care and respect when visiting a hospital here.Could be a leftover from the 60's with the Swedish sin and all the STD's, but still it's functional. Not perfect but working. Our pharmacists do hand out what is on the prescription without fussing. So far, I might add. We have an anti-abortion movement growing, thankfully quite small, but it's there. And no one can tell what what will happen in the future.
The world is wrong sometimes. I have two kids of my own but children is not the way to prove your worth. And it does not prove your worth as a woman. As a milk machine, yes, but not your human value.
Speaking of removing organs: I brought the subject up at the last visit at the doctors since my mum and my aunt both have had uterus cancer. I want it gone to be safe. But I've had two kids and that should be enough protection.I can't have the package removed. And I really want to, with the cramps and the pain and the mess and the risk for cancer.

And here I was to promote Sweden. I have to rethink.

Hang in there, sisters

Beautiful!

[bittercat.livejournal.com]

Very nice rant.

A way I might suggest to get your rants out there (as long as they are public) is Techonrati. I've linked my LJ to them.

http://www.technorati.com/

[metalkatt.livejournal.com]

Gee, now I'm famous for having problems. :-P Let's hope the doc takes me seriously when I go in next Thursday.

[avdi.livejournal.com]

(Linked in from an LJ friend's journal)

Hear, hear.

Just thought I'd add, though, that this attitude is not confined to Christians or the Right. See here (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/007140.html#007140) - a woman is deprived of the only medication that eases her condition by the FDA, due in part to pressure by Public Citizen, the organization Ralph Nader founded.

The issue here is people - of any political or religious stripe - who believe it is OK to violate your sovereign right to control your own body, "for your own good" or otherwise.

Thanks for your rant. I hope everyone who reads it becomes a little less tolerant of anyone's attempt to impose their will on the bodies of others.

[delve.livejournal.com]

"I'm tired of me and every other woman being treated like a uterus with a hairstyle."

I love you.

Your rant is very timely, as well. Considering what I've been through myself the last few weeks, if you remember my posts. *sigh*

[spoofmaster]

Came by way of nobleplatypus's link.

After reading both your rant and the comments that have been left so far, I must say that there are things I agree with...and things I really don't.

On the main point, that a woman should have the right to have her uterus removed/other procedures with the same effect, I agree. That's definitely a case of it being your body and your choice.

On abortion, though, I must disagree. "She who is forced to gestate against her will is no longer a person, but an incubator"? Unless it was a rape, she is not being "forced" at all! People talk about a woman's choise to have an abortion, but how about this--how about the woman's choice to use birth control, or to, say, not have sex? Shocking concept, I know. And yes, Christian here (or "Christian", if you must), and I do believe that all life is sacred from conception. Killing a fetus is like killing a baby...but I'll leave off.

[sanguineroses.livejournal.com]

Wandered over from childfree. All I have to say is hear, hear. And...I may take this and staple it to my GYN's forehead, along with my three page list + essay of reasons I desire a tubal.

In my county...

[bittercat.livejournal.com]

At least back when I checked this was the case...All you had to do was sign a waiver when you went in. They also, of course, wanted all payment up front.

I don't see what's so hard about that. If you ask me, it's moralizing, not legitimate concern. Waivers are for protection from liability.

I think people just like to beat their chests and moralize. Makes the little ones feel bigger...or something. ;)

Cheers!

[drgnmstrslash.livejournal.com]

Hear hear I say.

Not much else that can be added to that.

Except that if I had those cramps for several days, I'd have something removed too. If sympathy pains ever turn into multiple day stretches, oh yes. Something will get removed from someone, that I'm sure of.