There's one female character I liked in canon just fine (while NOT liking all of her actions - but I didn't like all of the actions of a beloved male character in the same canon, either), who in fandom was nearly ruined for me by a chunk of her fans, through endless accusations about how other women who obviously hate their own vaginas didn't fall in love with her. Now in this same fandom, I would venture to say my favorite character got just as much (little?) overall fannish love as theirs, but I realized early it did no good for me to rail and scream about those who didn't like mine. All I could do was write him and encourage others who wanted to do so, to do likewise. It wasn't a "statement" or even meta, really - it was just an effort to produce more of what I wanted to see.

So, I think you're right on that first point. You want me to like your favorite character more? Set about writing them with that enjoyment in mind and show me what about them is delicious. Do not lecture or talk down to me about how immature or blockheaded I must be because I don't agree with you.