veronica_rich | Drabble: "Birdwatcher"

Current Mood: artistic

Drabble: "Birdwatcher"

"Birdwatcher"
Rating: G
Pairing: W/E ... others, if you squint
Disclaimer: Belongs to Buena Vista and Bruckheimer. I derive no profit from this.
Summary: Post-AWE, Will's POV - response to "Fly" prompt at

blackpearlsails, inspired by the screenwriters' allusion to a William Turner in history who studied avians.

Turner’s eyes opened as salt water swirled over them; oddly, he could see clear as a well-cast bell. Against the gray sky was an askew square of sail, ropes gathered to two figures.

He’d heard Swann’s protests to Sparrow’s insistence they leave, even as he was being anchored to the sea, over the rush of waves replacing the tympani of his own heartbeat.

He could stay Below, relinquishing all he’d loved, become the ghost of Calypso’s Will. Or he could remember Beckett and the awful ships, and defy the downward current.

Turner knew which would keep his two birds flying.

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*G*

I am about to go out for the evening, but I will be back later, in about three/four hours :D

That was wonderful. :-) Can't pick anything favorite since it was all so good. :-) It does show a great deal of Will. Well done!

OOOH that is LOVELY! Just beautiful! I really like the use of words----'askew'...'anchored'....'tympani' (WONDERFUL!) and most of all 'awful', used in its oldest and most potent form. BRAVA!

So many beautiful turns of phrase in such a short piece -- I loved this one:
the rush of waves replacing the tympani of his own heartbeat.

"Tympani" is one of those words you just don't get to use too often, so I try where I can.

Thanks!

Glad you liked reading it!

Glad you liked my efforts at vocabulary - seems to matter a lot more when you have fewer words to offer up!

So short and so much said.

It takes the reader immediately aback to see through will's eyes as he sinks with the Dutchman, looking up seeing Jack and Elizabeth as they soar from BENEATH the water.

By adding simply "well-cast" to the standard metaphor of the bell, you remind the reader of the MEANING of a too often used one; you link his clear sight with the pure sound of the bell and add to the atmosphere of his being underwater and of his sudden sharp awareness like a tuning fork struck.

Sure touches throughout such as the reversal inherent in: >even as he was being anchored to the sea, over the rush of waves replacing the tympani of his own heartbeat< Them soaring clear while he is enwrapped and pulled down.

Also, so far uniquely, you speculate on the effort of "will" it took the new Master not only to make his ship return to the battle but on the side of the pirates and the Pearl. Calypso has already made clear she is against the pirates. In fact, she seems to be having a general temper tantrum with the maelstrom that actually creates a level playing field.

His response is so very much in character, and the very best of his character at that. Not only resisting becoming nothing more than Calypso's slve but making his own choices stubbornly still.

And making them with instinctive generosity and love:

>Turner knew which would keep his two birds flying.<

It's almost a benediction, as if they can fly FOR him too.

WOW. I love your use of imagery here.

Ahh, Will! Always so willing to be grounded to give others wings...but that's one of the reasons I love him.

Gotta love the boy ... I dislike martyrs as a rule, but he doesn't act like your typical sufferer, so maybe that's what I like about him.

(I saw your "Chicago" post at your journal. I may have to friend you. *G*)

Gee, I don't often get a feedback that's longer and better-phrased than the fic itself. *G* I'm very glad you enjoyed it enough to think on it so much and let me know. I like the challenge of a drabble, to see if I can cram into 100 words what I'd like to put into 10,000. Conversely, it also lets me do stories/pairings I may not wish to get into in a longer fic.

He could stay Below, relinquishing all he’d loved, become the ghost of Calypso’s Will. Or he could remember Beckett and the awful ships, and defy the downward current.

Turner knew which would keep his two birds flying.

The Dutchman sails as its captain commands. And its captain will always look out for the ones he loves and cares for first. He'd never abandon his own. He's done it for Elizabeth time and time again, he did it for Jack.

This was amazing. You've put so much into such few words, and gotten Will's character across perfectly. I read this early this morning before I went to work, and it stayed with me all day. Brava.

The best thing a writer loves to hear - producing something memorable. Makes me happy all week!

And its captain will always look out for the ones he loves and cares for first.

It's sad to think that possibly, Jones used to be like this, and you realize how much stronger Will would have to be if he faced similar circumstances after ten years as Jones, NOT to turn into a monster, too.

> ...you realize how much stronger Will would have to be if he faced similar circumstances after ten years as Jones, NOT to turn into a monster, too. <

At least we know that Will's lady shall, indeed, be waiting for him when he comes ashore.

Glad you liked. Did you see the movie, musical, or both?

Friending you back. :)

I've seen a couple of stage productions of the musical, both off-Broadway, and even before that I had the soundtrack from the Broadway production with Bebe Neuwirth and Ann Reinking. "Cell Block Tango" remains one of my favorite songs ever.

"You pop that gum ONE MORE TIME ... and he did. So I took the gun off the wall and fired two warning shots - INTO HIS HEAD."

...and I didn't even have to squint :)

But, seriously, I didn't want to comment on this just off the top of my head after first reading. That's some fascinating and captivating dichotomy you've curled into those sparse words, and it's an accomplishment in itself to have the answers to it in those words too.

I'd love to know what happened in Will's mind after that moment (well, after AWE, when he had more time to think again...), because people rarely go undisturbed after a revelation as profound as that.

And I'm anxious about the J/W W/E series that you've mentioned. More so now than before reading this, which wasn't little even then.

At any rate, this was a great thought, applause are in order.

I've only seen the stage show once. This was the first time it came around the area (I live in Erie, PA). I saw the movie first.

"You pop that gum ONE MORE TIME ... and he did. So I took the gun off the wall and fired two warning shots - INTO HIS HEAD."
Have to say that's one of my favorite lines. :)

I think one or two people have written fic about Will at the moment of his rebirth, but I don't have links handy for you. But yes, I wish more people would address it.

I hope to someday finish that series. I know what I want to do, but it's wrapping my brain around it so that it doesn't come out as terribly OOC. (I used to just write the fic and not worry so much and it was fun.)

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks!

*overlistens*

*also wants that icon in the worst way*

*also* no, wait- let me turn to the purpose of this thread- to say
'well done!' to the author, and thank you for another moment of clarity- Will's clarity- *loves him all the more*.

*hugs*

(Please, take the icon, use it, give it purpose. It's one of mine, and I like to share :D)

Ver is indeed brilliant at writing a magnificent Will.

Perfect.

Glad you liked it!

*joins in staring at the icon*

*bows*

Nice. Really, really good. :-)

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Drabble: "Birdwatcher"

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