And you know, I was having a moment of "OMG DUN GENERALIZE!" but I do think you have a valid and interesting point. The heavy identification and the wankiness/fanaticism is related to the Mary Sue phenomenon. I think that a major lure of the Mary Sue is that a certain proportion of female readership really do yearn for female characters to identify with, who get to be in the thick of the story and who are as cool and kick-ass as the male characters (who usually get to have all the fun and the swordfighting and the pirating and adventure--probably why LotR has such a rash of M-S's, although I glommed onto Eowyn in my day.) And yes, dally with the Preferred Sex Object, just like the classic male adventure hero--Indy, Bond, Conan--gets to do with the Hot Chick.

I think that Elizabeth IS that kind of character, which is at least one of the reasons why she's so compelling to so many fans, and why we (Elizabeth-fen) cling to her and defend her. (I certainly have a strong emotional/irrational reaction to Elizabeth-bashing, and have to breathe first, then respond.) But she's not a cardboard stand-in, although she has been used thus.

Meta aside, I'm really sorry that your comm has been receiving these rude comments. (It does happen on both sides, though I mostly get it at ff.net--not the same magnitude as someone coming into my personal comm or journal and leaving comments that "J/E sucks lol," or whatever.) As AWE draws closer, I'm really considering putting up a post in the Sparrabeth comm about courtesy. It's not like I have a huge amount of influence, and as someone else pointed out the ones who are disrespectful won't listen anyway, but I've been around long enough that most of the members know me and read my posts, and I feel like someone should say something. And as amusing as it might be, I really don't want to see my fellow fen on Fandom Wank...